In all, I was a high-strung adolescent female. I was self-conscious and insecure, and I saw my flaws at 2,000 percent magnification. I wanted to be cool and pretty, but I didn't want to be cookie cutter (or even to, like, brush my hair). There was a tension between who I wanted to be and who I believed I probably was, which gave way to a deep resentment toward anyone I perceived as even remotely having their shit together. Tonya, though, was safely and visibly imperfect. She seemed tormented by her world's simultaneous demands for grace and power, feminine likability and unapologetic assertiveness, humility and perfection.