01/25/2014 09:12 am ET Updated Jan 25, 2014

Feminism Didn't Lie To You About Your Fertility

Gary Gershoff via Getty Images

Here’s an important news flash, ladies: You can’t have it all. I know, I know. This is quite the bombshell. Nobody’s ever mentioned before that juggling career and relationships and personal achievement and family might require compromises or sacrifices or not getting every single thing you ever aspired to, or getting them but not having those things be exactly as you’d imagined. But as Wendy Sachs helpfully explains in a CNN piece about a new book titled “The Big Lie: Motherhood, Feminism and the Reality of the Biological Clock,” “regular women have yet another reason to feel inadequate: motherhood.” Oh, because making women feel inadequate about motherhood has totally never happened before.

The 42-year-old author Tanya Selvaratnam has written a candid new book about a journey that begin in her mid-30s, a tale shot through with “three miscarriages, multiple IVF treatments, cancer and the ultimate toll it took on her marriage.” Selvaratnam — who has an impressive track record of feminist advocacy — says she wanted to write the book to bust “the biggest” lie – “that we can become mothers on our own timetable.” In case there’s any ambiguity on the subject, the cover of her tome features an hourglass, its sand running out. And somewhat hilariously, CNN’s story on Selvaratnam, in which she bemoans that “We see celebrities having kids seemingly without any problems and we have no idea what they went through,” is accompanied by a slideshow of celebrity mothers who had their children after age 40.

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