Ugh, football. One of America's favorite pastimes, filled with bulky men throwing themselves at one another, causing brain-damaging concussions. It's not for everyone.
If you're like one of the few million Americans who tune in to Animal Planet's annual Puppy Bowl, you know there are other things to watch on Super Bowl Sunday besides the actual Super Bowl. Here's what to watch if you hate football:
Zombie Bowl Marathon on AMC
"The Walking Dead" Season 4 returns to AMC on Sunday, Feb. 9, but the network will show a day-long marathon of the show starting at 10 a.m. EST on Feb. 2.
10th Annual Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet
Animal Planet's annual Super Bowl alternative is back! Watch adorable puppies play with each other on a miniature football field while kittens "perform" at the halftime show. But watch out for puppy, um, penalties, which are on full display. Puppy Bowl X starts at 3 p.m. EST and airs on loop all night.
Funny Movie Marathon on Comedy Central
Comedy Central will air back-to-back stoner comedies for the non-Super Bowl watchers who still want to salute Washington and Colorado's affinity for green. Tune in at 10:30 a.m. EST for "The Girl Next Door," "My Best Friend's Girl," "Austin Powers in Goldmembe" and "Dumb and Dumber."
All Day Rom-Com Heaven on FX
Let's assume that FX thinks women hate football and love romantic comedies. If they're correct, they're going to have a very one-sided demographic for their 16.5-hour rom-com movie marathon. Starting at 8:30 a.m. EST, they'll show "Little Black Book," "Made of Honor," "13 Going On 30," "Something Borrowed," "Crazy, Stupid Love" and "Friends With Benefits."
"Law & Order: SVU" Marathon on USA
It wouldn't be Sunday without an all-day "SVU" marathon on USA. Tune in, as per usual.
"Real Housewives of Atlanta" Marathon on Bravo
Starting at 10 a.m. EST, Bravo will host a 12-hour marathon of "Real Housewives of Atlanta" before the series' new episode debuts at 10 p.m. EST.
"The Gabby Douglas Story" on Lifetime
Okay, so you're into sports. Kind of. Well, really you're just into the Olympic gold medalist Gabby Douglas. The Lifetime original movie about her life will debut on Saturday, Feb. 1, but the network will replay it at 9 p.m. EST on Super Bowl Sunday.
Binge Watch Anything, Literally Anything
Forget primetime and cable. Press play on Netflix, Hulu or Amazon Prime originals. You only have two weeks to catch up on "House of Cards" before Season 2 comes out, so you'd better hurry up.
Ugh, fine. Super Bowl XLVIII kicks off Sunday, Feb. 2, 6 p.m. EST on Fox.