Ever wonder why your fiery-maned co-worker always has that glow? It’s probably because she’s having more orgasms than you.
And according to Match.com’s annual Singles In America study, so are people in Miami, people with Androids, and “singles who work in computers and electronic fields.” (Admittedly, we were a bit skeptical about that last one, and followed up with the PR rep. to confirm these were not just solo experiences.)
Now in its fourth year, the study, consulted on by biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher and Dr. Justin R. Garcia, a sexuality specialist at The Kinsey Institute, analyzed the attitudes and behaviors of 5,329 U.S. singles between the ages of 18 and 70. Even as editors who write about vibrators and Tinder on a day-to-day basis, we were pleasantly surprised by the degree of sex-positivity demonstrated in the findings. In fact, 60 percent singles feel they aren't having enough sex.
Why aren't women going after the sex they want?
The study highlights a contradiction between women's desire for sex and their willingness to pursue it. Fifty-eight percent of single women want to have more sex this year than they did last year, but only eight percent felt it was appropriate to sleep with someone on the first date (compared with 37 percent of men). Terri Conley, who runs the Stigmatized Sexualities Lab at the University of Michigan, told The Cut that the primary reservations women have about casual sex are fear of being considered promiscuous, and beliefs (often rational) that the experience just won't be pleasurable for them. According to the Match.com study, only 44 percent of singles -- men and women -- reported having orgasms nearly every time they had sex.
While the pleasure problem clearly persists, hopefully privileged chastity is on its way out: 74 percent of men would be comfortable dating a woman with more former sexual partners than them.
Sex every day? No, thanks.
When women are ready to start getting down, luckily they are in agreement with men about how often they'd like to have sex: 2-3 times a week, preferably around 10 p.m., the time favored by 65 percent of men and 69 percent of women. Only 15 percent of men and 12 percent of women say they'd like to have sex every day. We imagine this group is mostly the red-headed computer scientists in Miami having all the orgasms.
Your next one-night stand could be just as meaningful as your next first date.
Even though many are perfectly satisfied to keep one-night stands in casual hookup territory (to the persistent awe of The New York Times), casual encounters don't always preclude meaningful relationships: The Singles In America study found that one-third of singles have had a one-night stand turn into a committed partnership.
Despite the fact that nobody's ever sure if a date's a date, first dates are actually taken pretty seriously -- especially by men. Fifty-six percent of single men said they have imagined a future together while on a first date, compared with 48 percent of women.
Times, they are a-changin'.
While the study's age range (18-70) is a bit too broad to discern precisely where and how attitudes are actually evolving, it doesn't take much digging to make a case that they are changing. In a famous 1982 survey, zero women said they would agree to spontaneous sex with a relative stranger (compared to 70 percent of men). In 2014, millions of women are on Tinder. Just looking at those stats, we'd say the needle is definitely moving.