02/07/2014 01:56 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

12 Signs You're A True Love Cynic

The impending doom that is Valentine's Day is almost upon us. If you cried watching "The Notebook," stop reading now.

1. You watched Taylor Swift's "All Too Well" performance at the Grammys and felt no emotion.

At all.

2. An ugly Snapchat from your bestie will never let you down, but a GF/BF totally will. Besides, you're already in a committed relationship with your Wi-Fi.

3. You think it's absurd when couples give each other flowers. Flowers are a metaphor for relationships. They all die, anyway.

4. Disney movies are the reason why you have trust issues.

5. When that cute guy/girl from math class asks you what you're doing Friday night, you say, "Getting to that next round of Flappy Bird."

6. When your grandma asks if you're seeing someone special, you respond, "Does my Netflix count?"

7. You think "Love Actually" is completely overrated. A guy tries to steal his best friend's wife on Christmas? WHO DOES THAT.

8. Lauren Conrad's Instagram account makes you want to throw up a little.

9. "The Bachelor Wedding Special" was more painful for you to endure than the SAT.

10. You roll your eyes when someone flirts with you, even if they're genuinely being nice.

11. The couple canoodling in the hallway needs to MOVE so you can get to class.

12. You ARE looking forward to 50 percent-off chocolate the day after Valentine's Day, though.

(Don't worry. Your secret's safe with us.)