02/15/2014 09:46 am ET Updated Feb 15, 2014

Maher: Chris Christie's 2016 Chances Are '350 Pounds Of Toast'

Bill Maher devoted the end of Friday's "Real Time" with a special Valentine's Day message: "Politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on the inside, only to find out that Democrats are soft and gooey and Republicans are mostly nuts."

He extended that metaphor to the 2016 presidential election, pointing out that the better that Americans get to know politicians, the less we like them. Historically, "the party nominates the guy we don't know that well, and he wins."

Which puts Hillary Clinton in an odd position, considering the baggage that comes with her career. But Maher did take issue with Rand Paul and Reince Priebus declaring that President Clinton's scandals in the '90s are fair territory in 2016, "as if it's Hillary's fault that her husband got blown in the '90s."

Another candidate troubled by this is embattled New Jersey governor Chris Christie. "He could have and should have run in 2012 when he had that new candidate smell," Maher joked. "Now, he's 350 pounds of toast."

He ended with a classic political truism. "Politicians are like suede jackets. There are cheap ones and expensive ones, but once they get rain on them, they all look like shit."

Check out the full clip above.