03/13/2014 10:12 am ET Updated Mar 13, 2014

The 17 Stages Of Your Mom Joining Facebook


You knew this day would come, but somehow, you're still not quite prepared. We feel you. Take a deep breath and realize that your social media life, as you once knew it, is gone. The party's over; your mom is joining Facebook.

To help you through this difficult time, we've outlined the 17 stages you're likely to go through. Perhaps knowing what's coming will ease the pain.

  • 1 So, your mom is thinking about joining Facebook.
  • 2 She's finally ready to do "what all the kids are doing."
    Despite the fact that all the kids are on tumblr now.
  • 3 Sure, she's late to the game, but what could go wrong?
  • 4 Now you have to show her how to use it.
  • 5 Watch out: she's going to get excited.
  • 6 Her first friend request? Oh yeah, it's going to you.
  • 7 But don't worry, it's not like you have to accept it right away.
  • 8 Give yourself some time to clean up your profile.
  • 9 Un-tag all those drunk photos from college.
  • 10 Make sure your friends don't write anything inappropriate on your wall.
  • 11 Make sure she knows the difference between Private Messages and Comments.
    All it takes is one embarrassing message on your wall for everyone to find out how much your mom coddles you.
  • 12 And don't be afraid to warn her about meddling in your conversations with friends.
  • 13 Be warned: She's going to mom it up. Hard.
  • 14 She might even poke you.
  • 15 You might regret your decision to help her.
  • 16 You might even be tempted to unfriend her.
  • 17 But come on, you can't unfriend your own mother.
    Accept that this is the world you live in now and move on.