04/01/2014 02:54 pm ET Updated Jul 10, 2014

Mystery Super PAC Theatre 2014: The Further Adventures Of Campaign B-Roll Video

As Paul Blumenthal reported last week, the hot new thing in the shady interplay between political campaigns and the super PACs that support them is the posting of long, nearly incomprehensible videos of nothing but candidate b-roll footage on the Internet, which can then be mined by dark money mavens for their dark money purposes. The best known example is, of course, the b-roll footage supplied by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), whose video has inspired much foolery, thanks to the folks at "The Daily Show."

But McConnell's just one player in this game, and "McConnelling" is just one game to be played. There are already nine candidates for Senate that have provided the Internet with long, strange b-roll videos, and independent groups have already "run eight ads in six Senate contests using b-roll footage made available by the campaigns," according to Blumenthal.

Three of our favorite campaign law-skirting b-roll videos have been furnished by Sens. Mark Begich (D-Alaska), Kay Hagan (D-N.C.) and Mark Udall (D-Colo.). So, we decided to have a little fun at these senators' expense by taking their b-roll footage and providing them with a bit of "Mystery Science Theater" style voice-over narrative. It's one of the few futile gestures of disapproval we can muster in an age where politics is flooded by corrupt money and secret operatives.

So without further ado, meet Sen. Mark Udall of Colorado, who enjoys standing by himself in fields and hates the new "gluten-free" diet fad.

And here's Sen. Kay Hagan of North Carolina, who likes the show "Scandal" and keeps her state safe from cryptids.

Finally, here's Sen. Mark Begich of Alaska, who wants to know where you got that pullover, because that's a pretty sweet pullover.

If you have a candidate whose b-roll you'd like us to spoof, let us know, okay?

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