When I moved in with my boyfriend last year, after living by myself for seven years, there were a lot of unexpected changes I had to adjust to. Among the most challenging? Learning how to say no to sex in a way that’s honest but not hurtful. This hadn’t come up when we’d only seen each other a few nights a week, but living together meant adjusting to each other’s schedules and ways of approaching sex.
I love my boyfriend and our sex life, but I’m not always in the mood when he is. It’s not a problem I face often, but when I do, it’s hard to maintain a healthy balance between politely declining and feeling like doing so will cause a rift in the relationship.