WOMEN
04/11/2014 09:48 am ET Updated Apr 11, 2014

Women Who Have Rough Sex: Why It Can Be Liberating

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Amanda is a tall, slender musician, whose sweet countenance and nerdy glasses belie the filthy things that come out of her mouth at times. "I've never felt as strong and alive and human as I've felt when somebody was fucking me with my face pressed up against my bathroom mirror,” she tells me.

As someone who writes about sex for a living, I’ve found this disconnect to be generally strong among women talking about sex. The common adage, “You can’t judge a book by its cover” applies doubly when it comes to desire, specifically the desire for rough sex, which has always had its detractors, but is back in the news again after Duke porn star Belle Knox called it empowering, and critics claim that engaging in it is terrible, wrong, anti-feminist, and in extreme cases, that it’s “destroying the country”--because consensual sex between adults is definitely the same thing as Armageddon.

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