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Repeat After Us: Paleo Pizza IS NOT Pizza

Call it what you want, just stop trying to trick us into thinking it's pizza.
By 

Taste Senior Editor, HuffPost

It doesn't take much to classify a food as pizza: just toppings and pizza dough. You can go with or without tomato sauce. Add a mountain of toppings or keep it simple with just cheese. But what you can never do, EVER, is take away the dough and replace it with something else. Considering that pizza dough is 50 percent of what makes pizza "pizza," taking it out of the equation is robbing pizza of its very identity.

There are many diets these days, and allergies too, that prevent a large number of people from eating bread. While we may not be able to forgo this carb personally, we completely understand the need to do so. But what we cannot understand is why anyone would want to liken a piece of meatloaf covered in cheese to pizza when it's not even close. We're looking at you, Paleo diet followers.

We respect those of you who follow the Paleo diet and your choices -- we really do -- but what we cannot tolerate is this list we found of Paleo pizza recipes. Pizza without pizza dough is just not pizza. Stop trying to force it.

1
Look at this pizza
Flickr: N Wong
Do you see that big, beautiful crust?
2
Let's take a closer look at that wood-fired charred crust.
Flickr: N Wong
It's all bubbly and crusty and beautifully charred. We love it.
3
Even cheese loves pizza dough so much.
Flickr: British Mum
And can you blame it?
4
It's the most magical thing ever created in an oven.
Flickr: N Wong
Pizza only comes to its full potential in the oven and it's because the dough grows into the magical crust we know.
5
Even when it's deep dish, pizza crust can do no wrong.
Flickr: sstrieu
Perfection.
6
But cauliflower crust? Not so amazing.
Flickr: Deb Nystrom
Not magical. Not special. Not even close to anything like pizza dough.
7
Take a closer look...
Flickr:Deb Nystrom
There's no fluff, no air pockets, and the cheese clearly isn't into it either.
8
Let's take one more look at REAL pizza crust.
Flickr: Arnold Gatilao
Don't you just want to take a monster bite into that soft, soft dough?
9
People have replaced that dough with zucchini.
Flickr: Selena N. B. H.
ZUCCHINI??!?! We can't even compute.
10
Oh hey, even frittata tries to be pizza dough.
Flickr:Jessica Merz
NONONONONONONONO! This needs to stop.
11
That's not even the worst of it. Take a look at meatza.
Flickr:Jennie Faber
Pizza + meat = meatza. Get it? Listen up people: IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO PIZZA!
12
Not even bacon can woo us away from pizza dough.
Flickr: Aaron Lai
As tempting as a bacon weave can be, it just can't compete with pizza dough. But it was a good try.

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