Today in hilarious-but-also-disturbing news, The New York Post detailed the absurdly extensive lengths to which parents are willing to go to buy "Frozen" things for their children.
The excerpts of this story read like a dystopian fairy tale:
"We're all sold out of 'Frozen,'" a Disney sales associate said for the 200th time that day. "Except for this," she added, pointing -- weakly -- to a paltry stand decorated with five pairs of Anna boots."
No one wants Anna's boots, but they definitely want Anna dolls -- some of which are selling for literally thousands of dollars on eBay right now. (Seriously, there is one set of dolls marked at $10,000.)
The Post found one woman who spent $1,200 on an Elsa doll; another man admittedly paid $480 for two "Frozen" dresses (just to be clear: children's costumes) and $350 for other "paraphernalia." Both explained their purchases saying they had "promised" their children the merchandise.
According to another harried Disney store employee, people have gotten into physical fights, attempting to obtain things like plush dolls. One of the few woman who was able to purchase a stuffed Olaf, experienced intimidation to the degree that left her afraid to bring the doll out in public.
"Anywhere I was, at the Met, at the supermarket, all the mothers were going crazy screaming, 'Oh my God, I can’t believe you got it!'" 43-year-old Donna Ladd told the Post. "They were asking me if they could borrow the doll for a few days ... I feel like I had a bag no one else could get."
When you're done analyzing the obsessive consumerism which this story perfectly illustrates, there is a "Let It Go" pun to be made here. Until then, please find your way into the fetal position.