04/16/2014 02:49 pm ET

Tori Spelling Breaks Her Silence On Husband's Dean McDermott's Affair


Tori Spelling is finally breaking her silence on husband Dean McDermott's affair with another woman late last year.

In the new issue of Us Weekly, the reality star opens up about the cheating scandal that rocked her seven-year marriage and explains why she didn't leave McDermott after discovering he'd been unfaithful.

"I feel so judged, but it's not black and white," Spelling tells the magazine. "He was my soul mate, but he completely broke my heart. It makes you not trust anything that's happened in your relationship."

The pair -- who have four children together -- will put their efforts to repair the marriage front and center for a new Lifetime docu-series, "True Tori." They began filming the series mere days after McDermott left rehab for sex addiction.

In a newly released trailer for the show, McDermott confesses to cheating on Spelling. "That's my worst nightmare, I cheated on my wife. I was out of control. ... Sex was an escape, just like drugs and alcohol," the "Chopped Canada" host says.

"I could never give him enough sex," a tearful Spelling says in the clip. "He's never going to be happy with just me."

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