This week was filled with religious observances as Passover and Easter fall only days apart. Sometimes, though, you need more than a sugar rush to get through the requisite family time of the mid-April holidaze. Tammy tweeted a brilliant solution: "Cadbury eggs filled with wine. Get busy on that Easter bunny." We second that idea -- with a Manischewitz version, of course.
Until then, the chosen ladies among us can still count on our candy fix: "I'm Jewish so I get my candy from the Esther Bunny," quipped Twitter user MatzOhNoSheTwitnt.
After such an exhausting week week of holiday prep and -- oh yeah -- taxes, Swishergirl tweeted an eternal truth: "I don't understand. Isn't it always Good Friday?" Preach.
For more great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Wishing I was Chelsea Clinton's fetus
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) April 17, 2014
"Yes, but maybe if I HAD these tiny whimsical bowls I WOULD throw dinner parties..." - every girl in Anthropologie ever
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) April 16, 2014
An open letter to holiday leftovers:
I love you.
— Alexis Kleinman (@alexiskleinman) April 16, 2014
I gave all my coworkers nicknames, and now I can't remember their real ones. I don't think I can call this guy Douchey-McDouche-Douche.
— Monica Ann (@Monicann86) April 16, 2014
*pauses movie* Do you think Batman uses fabric softener?
— Erica B (@SCbchbum) April 16, 2014
My friend wanted to meet someone the old fashioned way so I offered sheep and land to a man she didn't know if he agreed to take care of her
— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) April 16, 2014
My body type is more "mashed potatoes stuffed into a ziplock bag" and less "pear-shaped."
— The Alicianater (@leechee420) April 17, 2014
Cadbury eggs filled with wine
Get busy on that Easter bunny
— Tammy (@OkieGirl405) April 16, 2014
Every 30 seconds in Los Angeles, someone tries to get in the wrong Prius.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) April 17, 2014
According to my Nike fuelband I masturbated 2 miles today
— Jew Chainz (@jewfacekilla) April 17, 2014
There needs to be a term for when your entire sexuality is defined by the video for Fiona Apple's "Criminal."
— Diablo Cody (@diablocody) April 17, 2014
Side hugs are the handjobs of hugs.
— Erica B (@SCbchbum) April 17, 2014
behind every sexy selfie are 50 rejected ones
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) April 15, 2014
Sometimes I feel like some of you don't even want me to be your future ex-wife.
— Blue Moon (@Bluestmoon_) April 18, 2014
*removes perfecting chip-to-dip ratio from bucket list*
— The H Factor (@onelongbender) April 17, 2014
Kid #2 woke up this morning before the sun. I feel like I need to sell him.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) April 18, 2014
Now I'm not saying I'm a badass, but I did just pour cereal without checking for milk first.
— Jes (@JesKeepSwimming) April 12, 2014
Pull out a flip phone in a TV show and I'll assume it was shot in 1958.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) April 18, 2014
I'd rather give birth than an apology.
— Stacey Lynne (@NervousJr) April 18, 2014
I don't understand. Isn't it always Good Friday?
— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) April 18, 2014
“I know everyone thinks they’re Carrie, but I really do think I'm the Carrie of our friend group,” she told the broken chair.
— Anna Breslaw (@annabreslaw) April 18, 2014
I'm Jewish so I get my candy from the Esther Bunny.
— MatzOhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) April 18, 2014
Where are we on developing wine slushies?
— Margaret Lyons (@margeincharge) April 18, 2014