In 2011, relationship expert Tracy McMillan made waves when The Huffington Post published her polarizing blog titled "Why You're Not Married." In it, she wrote candidly about the self-destructive behaviors that can hold people back from finding meaningful, authentic love.
It's been three years since McMillan's blog went viral, and now she's back to sit down with Oprah for another brutally honest conversation about the spiritual path of relationships, love and, of course, sex. In her upcoming interview on "Super Soul Sunday," McMillan addresses the issue of casual sex, which she writes about in her book, Why You're Not Married… Yet.
"You say, 'Past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin. It doesn't stay recreational for long,'" Oprah reads from McMillan's book. "What a powerful, savvy line."
McMillan acknowledges that casual sex may work for some people, but strongly advises taking a close look at yourself to determine whether you're one of them. "You can't take your three girlfriends who are successful having casual sex and be one of them if that's not you," she says. "You just need to figure out who you are."
On a personal level, McMillan says she knows that she is not one of those women. "I cannot have casual sex and keep it casual. Doesn't work for me," she shares. "People just have to ask themselves, can you do it? If you can't, then you need to stop having the casual sex."
To illustrate her point, McMillan equates having casual sex to taking a temp job. "You can't take a temp job hoping that if you're so great, you really 'wow' on the temp job, you can work it into full time," McMillan says. "That is not how relationships work, where you're going to start with the casual sex, which is the temp job, and work it into the full time, which is the committed relationship."
"Yeah," Oprah agrees. "It doesn't work that way."
"It doesn't," McMillan says.
See Tracy McMillan's full interview on this weekend's "Super Soul Sunday," airing Sunday, May 4, at 11 a.m. ET on OWN, during which it also streams worldwide on Oprah.com, Facebook.com/owntv and Facebook.com/supersoulsunday.