How Your Favorite Films Would Be Destroyed By The Internet

Your Favorite Films Destroyed By The Internet

A lot of Hollywood's greatest films revolve around the tried-and-true plot points of miscommunication, misunderstanding, betrayal and lies.

But could the same twists occur in the age of smartphones and status updates? Would some of the movie industry's favorite story lines be ruined by Instagram, Tinder and "viral campaigns"? Let's find out.

'ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST' (1975)

McMurphy (Mac) wiggles his way out of prison time by pretending to be insane. Sent to a mental hospital, he finds himself under the supervision of the abusive and vindictive Nurse Ratched.

Mac takes undercover iPhone footage of Nurse Ratched’s regime and leaks it to The Huffington Post, resulting in the hospital's shutdown. Mac and his two buddies move to Las Vegas, start a card-playing racket and live out their lives in luxury.

cuckoo

'ROMEO AND JULIET' (1996)

Romeo and Juliet, two lovers from warring families, must disobey their parents wishes if they want to be together. After wedding in secret, Juliet fakes her own death so she can escape her family's plans to marry her to another man. Romeo doesn't get the message and, believing his lover to be dead, takes his own life. Juliet then commits suicide herself once she sees Romeo is dead. Pretty sad.

Juliet sends a Snapchat to Romeo before drinking the poison: "Not dead. Just 4 show. Play along! See you soon XOXO." Double suicide is avoided. RoJu start a new life together in Mexico. Divorce around third wedding anniversary after realizing they probably shouldn't have gotten married at 13. Stay friends.

romeo and juliet

'KING KONG' (1933)

Filmmaker Carl Denham finds what he believes to be a perfect location for shooting his film: Skull Island. With leading lady Ann Darrow in tow, Carl goes to the island and Ann is stolen and taken into the jungle by a giant gorilla. Carl teams up with Ann's lover to save her.

Denham uses Google Earth to scout out his mysterious island film location. Spots giant ape footprints. Posts his findings to the Internet. Thinks better of the movie location and opts to go to the Bahamas instead. Ann Darrow never meets King Kong but does develop a tanning addiction.

king kong
(Yep, we realize Naomi Watts was in the 2005 version.)

'ANNIE HALL' (1977)

Annie Hall follows the romantic trials of neurotic New York comedian Alvy Singer and the wacky Annie Hall as they fall in and out of love.

Alvy Singer and Annie Hall break up. Alvy Singer becomes addicted to Tinder and forgets about Annie rather quickly.

annie hall

'LOST IN TRANSLATION' (2003)

A washed-up actor meets the beautiful wife of an acclaimed photographer while working in Tokyo. They become unexpected travel companions.

Bill Murray just stares at his phone a bunch at the hotel bar and never meets ScarJo in the first place. They continue on with their unhappy lives.

lit

lit

'CITIZEN KANE' (1941)

Newspaper tycoon Charles Foster Kane dies and his last utterance sends investigative reporters into a whirlwind chase to discover its meaning. Who or what is "Rosebud"?

The newsmen, trying to understand “Rosebud,” find a tagged #tbt picture of Rosebud on Instagram. "Oh," think the newsmen. "It was just his sled."

kane2

'CASABLANCA' (1942)

Rick Blaine is a nightclub owner in Casablanca haunted by the fact that the love of his life failed to catch the last train out of Paris alongside him. When she unexpectedly arrives in town with her husband, Rick feels lied to and betrayed.

Rick sees old Facebook posts of Ilsa's first wedding, so he knew she was previously married all along. When she shows up in Casablanca, he happily helps her and her husband escape. Rick realizes he's actually been in love with Sam all along and begins a forever romance with his piano man.

casa

'THE WIZARD OF OZ' (1939)

Kansas farm girl Dorothy runs away from home in an attempt to save her beloved dog, whose life is threatened by a pesky neighbor. In the midst of a tornado, Dorothy and Toto find themselves in Oz -- far, far away from Kansas.

Dorothy starts a Change.org petition against her dog-napping neighbor. After her neighbor is inundated with Facebook threats, she begrudgingly returns Toto to Dorothy. Making headlines for the success of her social media skills, Dorothy is offered a job in the Kansas headquarters of Obama For America.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the rainbow, Oz is overtaken by the Wicked Witch of the West and her sister, the Wicked Witch of the East, whose wasn't squashed by Dorothy's falling house. Tin Man remains heartless, Cowardly Lion stays a coward and Scarecrow never finds a brain.

wizard

'IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT' (1934)

Ellie Andrews is a socialite whose father disapproves of her love life, so he swoops her away from her husband. The film chronicles Ellie's haphazard journey to escape from her father's clutches and return to the man she married.

Geotagged photos of Ellie on Instagram bring down her escape right as it begins, nailing home the important message that wealthy white men usually get what they want. Ellie continues to drive her father insane and Peter never finds love or his big scoop.

it happened

'STAR WARS' (1977-1983)

The life of Luke Skywalker is thrown into disarray when he accidentally obtains the droids carrying the stolen plans to the Death Star, a massive weapon created by the evil Galactic Empire. Teaming up with the cocky Han Solo, a wookie and Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Skywalker embarks on an adventure to save the universe from destruction and rescue Princess Leia from Darth Vader.

Luke builds an Ancestry.com account, finds out he made out with his sister. Goes home.

luke ancestry

'THE SHINING' (1980)

Novelist Jack Torrance takes a job as the groundskeeper of an abandoned hotel, accompanied by his wife and son. Due to a combination of writer's block and the other worldly hauntings of the place, Jack slowly goes insane.

Trolling YouTube and Tumblr, Jack never gets around to working on his novel so the agitation of writer's block does not drive him to insanity. Family has a pretty good time during their stay. Wife learns to knit through Pinterest tutorials and son watches lots of Netflix.

shining

puppies

'E.T. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL' (1982)

A young boy forges an unlikely relationship with an alien he finds in his family's garden shed. Together they work to get the lonely alien back to his home planet.

Neighbor snaps photo of alien forcing E.T. to return home before true friendship is formed. E.T. leaves relatively free of emotional pain.

et

'The Sixth Sense'

(1999)

Child Psychologist Malcolm Crowe takes on a complicated new patient, a boy who claims to see dead people.

Bored on a Friday afternoon, Crowe decides to Google himself. In doing so, he discovers his obituary. End of story.

ss

'GOLDFINGER' (1964)

James Bond uncovers a smuggling scheme by a gold magnate that may involve an attack on Fort Knox.

With how hot the gold iPhone is, Goldfinger foregoes all the sketchy stuff and just unloads gold iPhones on eBay for a big profit. Forbes writes him up for his entrepreneurial prowess. James Bond gets laid at home in Britain.

huffpost

'THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY' (1998)

Ted is still in love with Mary, the high school prom queen. Determined to discover where she is and if there is any chance for him, Ted hires a private investigator. Things get complicated when the private investigator falls in love with Mary himself.

Ted finds Mary on Facebook. Pokes her. Messages with her. Moves to Florida. Lives happily ever after.

something mary

'DUMB AND DUMBER' (1994)

Harry and Lloyd set about a cross-country road trip to deliver a suitcase full of cash to its rightful owner, the beautiful Mary Swanson.

Harry and Lloyd find Mary Swanson on Facebook. See she's married. Pretty bummed, they don't go to Aspen. Move to Silicon Valley and use the briefcase money to invest in fledgling start-ups. Hit it big.

dumb and dumber
♫ Face... YEAH... book... YEAH... ♫

'ZOOLANDER' (2001)

Model Derek Zoolander is feeling washed up when the illustrious designer Mugatu hires Derek to be the face of his newest clothing line. Little does Derek know he has inadvertently entered a criminal underworld where fashion moguls decide who lives and who dies.

Reddit uncovers the fashion industry assassination conspiracy well before the prime minister of Malaysia rolls into New York. Zoolander's career continues to decline.

zoolander

'2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY' (1968)

HAL 9000 is evil but ineffective and tries unsuccessfully to kill everyone.

HAL 9000 is still evil but even more ineffective and named Siri now.

2001

Correction: An earlier version of this post confused The Wicked Witch Of The West with The Wicked Witch Of The East. We would like to apologize to the flying monkeys for our thoughtlessness.

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