On Monday, May 12, the very fabric of the universe began to tear as TMZ released a video of Solange Knowles allegedly attacking Jay Z in an elevator after the Met Gala. The Internet scrambled in search of reason, desperate to determine #WhatJayZSaidToSolange, and literally everyone made that "100 Problems" joke, but no solutions were found. While we can offer to sell our organs in exchange for a Beyoncé tell-all (or even just audio to accompany the video), we'll probably never really get answers. So, to help you grapple with this life-changing event, we bring you eight possible Solange-gate explainers.
1. Solange saw Jay Z trying to close the elevator doors before she got in.
Or maybe pressed the wrong floor once she got on, but who has time for any of that?
2. Jay Z disparaged Solange's career with an elevator-related pun.
Example: "Solange: This elevator isn't going anywhere! Jay: Just like your career."
Solange: This elevator isn't going anywhere
Jay: Like ya career?
— Scott Summers (@ItsScottSummers) May 12, 2014
3. There was a rift over Solange's Illuminati initiation.
The entire scene itself was just bursting with Illuminati symbolism, like the fact that the elevator was stopped at the 13th floor or that it even was an elevator, which goes up and down, just like the Illuminati's doctrine of "As Above, So Below." Obviously, Solange kicked Jay Z either as part of her Illuminati initiation or because he refused her initiation.
4. The whole thing is another Jimmy Kimmel prank.
In that scenario, Kimmel is disguised as Beyoncé.
Solange caught on tape attacking JayZ. Waiting for footage of Beyonce where she rips off her face and reveals she was Kimmel the whole time.
— Ivy Picklebottom (@IvyPicklebottom) May 13, 2014
5. Solange was sick of Jay Z carelessly spoiling "Game of Thrones."
Despite the fact that he knew she was waiting to watch until after she finished the books.
6. Secretly, Solange is the fierce reigning Queen of the Universe, who uses Beyoncé as a public surrogate for her rule.
There's this whole other hot mess of a storyline about Solange yelling at Rachel Roy / other people at the Met Gala, based in the idea that Jay betrayed Bey in some way or another. Of course, that makes us wonder why Beyoncé would even need defending in the first place, for which we will simply reference this Jezebel post of other theories, as well as the lyrics to "Ring The Alarm."
7. Solange was tired of everyone asking why her name is not Solangé.
And took out the years of frustration on Jay Z.
Everyone wants to know why they were fighting in that elevator — but here's a more important question: Why isn't Solange's name Solangé?
— Sam Lansky (@samlansky) May 13, 2014
8. Jay Z said that Elsa's powers make absolutely no sense in "Frozen."
In response to which Solange began kicking him, while screaming, "Regardless of logical inconsistencies, 'Frozen' is a delightful film!"