HUFFPOST HILL - Michael Boggs Has No Friends :-(

The GOP filibustered its own tax cuts, kind of like those prisoners who send messages by shivving themselves on their first day. If net neutrality rulings don't go activists' way, internet speed will join GIFs as the hottest 90s throwbacks on the web. And Missouri's legislature passed a bill forcing a three-day waiting period for abortions, though we hear that can be circumvented through the abortion show loophole. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Thursday, May 15th, 2014:

GOP FILIBUSTERS TAX CUTS IT SUPPORTS - We imagine Mitch McConnell cradling the tax cuts the same way Michael Corleone cradled his gutshot daughter on the opera house steps at the end of "Godfather: Part III," overcome with grief, finally recognizing what his madness has wrought.* Mike McAuliff: "Senate Republicans filibustered a package of tax breaks that most of them want Thursday, saying they were mad because Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) wouldn't let them vote on more tax legislation, which included an anti-Obamacare measure. The Senate was considering a bill to temporarily extend some 60 expired tax breaks at a cost of about $85 billion. Republicans favor the bill, which many voted for when it was crafted with a half-dozen GOP amendments in the Senate Finance Committee, but insisted they should be able to amend the bill further during floor debate. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) asked Reid to make the first of those amendments a repeal of the medical device tax in the Affordable Care Act, and then to allow alternating amendments from both sides. But even as he asked, he suspected the answer would be no. 'This is completely out of control,' McConnell said. 'Even if the Democratic majority doesn't like our ideas or those of our constituents ... the answer isn't to shut down their representatives' ability to influence legislation through amendment.' Reid did object, however, arguing that the measure was already bipartisan and that the GOP just wanted to slow down the process...Although the bill failed for the time being, it is likely to be brought back up because of its broad popularity." [HuffPost]

* Yeah, we ruined "Godfather: Part 3" for you. You can thank us later.

The New York Times goes on ANOTHER one of those safaris in Washington. This is like, what, the third or fourth time the paper has discovered H Street. [shakes fist]

EVERYONE HATES MICHAEL BOGGS - Jen Bendery: "All four Senate Democratic leaders have now signaled that either they will vote against President Barack Obama's embattled judicial nominee Michael Boggs or they have serious concerns with him. During a Thursday press conference, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) said flatly that he won't vote for Boggs, given the nominee's strong record as a social conservative. Reid had suggested on Wednesday that he was leaning no, but he couldn't have been more clear on Thursday. 'I'm going to oppose him,' Reid said. 'He's a person who, in my opinion, is out of the mainstream and I don't think deserves to be a federal judge.'" [HuffPost]

ISSA ISSUES NEW BENGHAZI SUBPOENAS, ISSUES POX ON JOHN KERRY'S SCHEDULER - If this drags on any longer, we're going to teach our kids that Marco Polo is a game where one kid covers his or her eyes and shouts "BENGHAZI" while the other kids scurry away and reply, "ANSWERS!" McAuliff: "The House of Representatives may have created a special select committee to further investigate Benghazi, but that doesn't seem to have dissuaded Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) from continuing his own probe into the 2012 attacks. Issa, who had already issued a subpoena demanding that Secretary of State John Kerry appear before his Committee On Oversight and Government Reform, announced Thursday that he was issuing a new one, granting Kerry just one extra week after Issa and State Department officials failed to agree on a mutually acceptable date. Issa had initially demanded that the secretary appear on May 21, but the State Department informed him that Kerry was scheduled to be visiting foreign nations on that day. ssa now wants Kerry to appear on May 29, and in a statement announcing the new subpoena, he disparaged the motives of the diplomatic corps. 'With this State Department’s slippery tactics, it’s no wonder our friends in the world are losing faith in us and our adversaries doubt our credibility,' Issa said. 'The State Department had discussed May 29 as a possible alternative date and that’s when Secretary Kerry will be obligated to appear -- further accommodation will not be possible.' Democrats on the Oversight Committee accused Issa and the GOP of appearing to be confused in their Benghazi strategy, noting that when House Speaker John Boehner (R) backed the idea of the select committee, he argued it would bring all the investigations together in one place, and help ensure the probe didn't become a sideshow." [HuffPost]

Funny how Fox News thought Hillary was faking her head injury last year but now think she's on the verge of an aneurysm -- great mashup from Oliver Noble.

PARANOID SELF-LOATHING LOBBYIST ALARMED BY WHITE MALE PRIVILEGE - HuffPost Hill's Paranoid Self-Loathing GOP Lobbyist, who lovingly named his panic room, "Cigar Smoke-Filled Back Room," is distraught over the allegedly sexist circumstances of New York Times Executive Editor Jill Abramson's dismissal. Where once he was blind to the patriarchy, now PSLGOPL can see. "Is HPH gonna add a female editor?" PSLGOPL writes. "For what it's worth I think you should. You're all a little rich white male-y. Diversifying couldn't hurt." Point well taken, PSLGOPL!

10 Lessons From Idaho's Incredibly Dysfunctional GOP Candidates

DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - "I am really trying, I want to work, I am willing to work anywhere at this point," an unemployed person writes DDD. "At present I had to move in with my brother because I was evicted from my apartment in March. I just do not know what I would have done without my family, I am so lucky." [Hang in there!]

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KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND AND RAND PAUL TEAM UP AGAIN - And not to star in our network sitcom pilot (Working Title: "Filibusted!). Sam Stein and Mike McAuliff: "In today's bitterly divided U.S. Senate, there are at least two lawmakers on opposite ends of the ideological spectrum who have found a way to work together. With little public fanfare this week, Sens. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) and Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) teamed up for the third time in a year on a legislative item. Paul became a cosponsor of Gillibrand's bill to amend the federal tax code to give financial assistance to parents purchasing child care services... Promoting the idea at a forum on working families on Monday, Gillibrand said the goal was to help parents care for their kids while they're on the job...The bill is in its nascent stages, with just one other cosponsor -- Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-Md.). Even though it faces a long road to passage, it already has a modicum of significance. Rare is the case when ideological foes team up. And when they do, it is often on matters involving foreign policy, such as skepticism over the use of drones or the desire to pull back government surveillance." [HuffPost]

Speaking of bipartisanship: "The Senate quietly made history on Wednesday night when it confirmed Diane Humetewa as a federal judge -- the first Native American woman to ever hold such a post. Humetewa was confirmed 96-0 to serve on the U.S. District Court for the District of Arizona. She is a former U.S. attorney in Arizona and a member of the Hopi tribe. She is now the first active member of a Native American tribe to serve on the federal bench and only the third Native American in history to do so. Her confirmation elicited a rare moment of bipartisan celebration on Twitter from the White House and Republican senators. 'Congrats to #Arizona's Diane Humetewa - confirmed today as the first Native American woman to ever serve on the federal bench!' [tweeted John McCain]" [HuffPost]

Harry Reid has struck gold with this Koch brother thing and he's not letting go, goddamnit: "Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) on Thursday called for amending the U.S. Constitution to bar big money donors from having an outsized impact on the nation's elections, saying billionaire donors were mounting a 'hostile takeover' of America. 'Amending our Constitution is not something any of us should take lightly, but the flood of special interest money in our American democracy is one of the glaring threats our system of government has ever faced,' Reid said on the Senate floor. 'Let's keep our elections from becoming speculative ventures for the wealthy.' The amendment, sponsored by Sens. Tom Udall (D-N.M.) and Michael Bennet (D-Colo.), would reverse the Supreme Court's 2010 Citizens United and 2014 McCutcheon rulings, as well as part of its 1976 Buckley v. Valeo ruling, and restore certain congressional authority to regulate the raising and spending of money, including that of super PACs." [HuffPost's Mike McAuliff and Igor Bobic]

NET NEUTRALITY ADVOCATES HOPEFUL - Matt Sledge: "Net neutrality advocates think they're pushing the Federal Communications Commission in the right direction after the commission voted on Thursday to kick off a long comment period on an open Internet plan. The goal of the plan is to provide a set of guidelines that would ensure that all Internet traffic would be treated equally, rather than allowing providers to favor traffic from one company over another. But advocates still don't know if they can get FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler to go all the way toward establishing full net neutrality. During the vote, Wheeler made unexpectedly explicit comments about the possibility of reclassifying broadband Internet as a utility, a step that the industry has long opposed because it would result in heavier regulation of broadband providers. But the set of proposals that the FCC voted to move forward on Thursday still falls far short of adopting reclassification, and the 120-day comment period the commission enacted will likely spark another round of intense lobbying on the part of providers. "[Wheeler]'s clearly hearing from the public. He got an earful today," said Craig Aaron, president and CEO of the open Internet group Free Press. "I think there are some better questions in this order which open this order to doing the right thing -- a door which three weeks ago seemed like it was being shut.'" [HuffPost]

JUDGE STRIKES DOWN ARKANSAS' GAY MARRIAGE BANS - AP: "A judge cleared the way on Thursday for gay marriages to resume in Arkansas, striking down all state laws that prevent same-sex couples from wedding. A day after the state Supreme Court effectively halted gay marriages in the state, Pulaski County Judge Chris Piazza expanded his ruling striking down a constitutional ban to also include the prohibition on clerks issuing same-sex marriage licenses. Justices had ruled Wednesday that Piazza's decision on the gay marriage ban did not change that license law. Piazza also rejected a request to suspend his ruling, saying there's no evidence the state would be harmed by allowing gay marriages to continue. 'The same cannot be said of the plaintiffs and other same-sex couples who have not been afforded the same measure of human dignity, respect and recognition by this state as their similarly situated, opposite sex counterparts,' Piazza wrote. 'A stay would operate to further damage Arkansas families and deprive them of equal access to the rights associated with marriage status in this state.' Pulaski County, one of two counties that had been issuing licenses before the high court's decision, said it planned to resume marrying gay couples immediately. The other, Washington County, was not issuing licenses Thursday." [AP]

Missouri's legislature passed a law that applies similar gun purchase-like restrictions on abortion. You stay weird, America. AP: "Missouri's Republican-controlled Legislature gave final approval Wednesday to legislation requiring a woman to wait three days after first seeing a doctor before having an abortion. Democratic Gov. Jay Nixon has not said whether he will sign or veto it. The measure would triple Missouri's current 24-hour waiting period and put the state in line with Utah and South Dakota as the only states to mandate a 72-hour time frame. Missouri currently has only one clinic performing elective abortions. The House voted 111-39 in favor of the measure Wednesday, sending it to Nixon, who has previously allowed other abortion restrictions to become law without his signature. That included a measure last year that requires doctors to be in the room for the initial dose of a drug used in medical abortions." [HuffPost]

DEEDS PLANNING LEGAL ACTION AFTER SON'S SUICIDE - Times Dispatch: "Sen. R. Creigh Deeds, D-Bath, has served notice on four local governments that he intends to sue the community services board that represents them for 'negligence and gross negligence' in the treatment of his son, Austin C. 'Gus' Deeds, who attacked his father and killed himself in November. An attorney for Deeds served a notice of claim late Wednesday on Rockbridge and Bath counties, Lexington and Buena Vista, which provide behavioral health services through the Rockbridge Area Community Services Board – the regional agency that evaluated Gus Deeds on Nov. 18, the day before the attack and suicide. Monica L. Mroz, who represents Deeds for LichtensteinFishwick, said the notice is required under state law because of its potential effect on local governments. 'Senator Deeds has not made a final decision whether or not he is going to sue,' Mroz said in an interview today. In addition to the four localities, Dennis A. Cropper, executive director of the community services board, confirmed today that his office also received a letter from Deeds’ attorney, but he said he could not comment further because he is out of town and has not seen it." [Times Dispatch]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Here is a cat confused by a baby.

Cue the Helen Reddy: "Jill Abramson is hitting back... literally. Just one day after the former New York Times' executive editor was surprisingly ousted from the paper over alleged management issues, Abramson has been spotted [in boxing gloves] -- in an Instagram post her daughter published Thursday. The text includes the hashtag #pushy, likely referring to NYT management's alleged description of her that has caused discussion over the paper's gender parity problem. The media world exploded with theories about Abramson's removal, the most popular being that she was pushed out after confronting management over not being paid as much as her male predecessor. Despite statements from the paper's publisher, Arthur Sulzberger Jr., and her successor Dean Baquet, Abramson herself has kept quiet about the move... until now." [HuffPost]


- Cat -- who we hereonout will call Sammy Salutations -- likes to say "hey." [http://bit.ly/1swMxv7]

- "Eight Seniors Wearing Vegetation" -- take that, BuzzFeed. [http://bit.ly/1iPXpP4]

- Snoring hedgehog is sleepy... possibly plagued by sleep apnea. [http://bit.ly/T7yemp]

- Where do the ocean's deep sea animals die? A video. [http://wxch.nl/1gJac62]

- "Realistic Mario" is far more gruesome than the original. [http://bit.ly/1k5OqOs]

- Guy doesn't give a damn through the whole wedding planning process -- because, c'mon -- and proceeds to steal the show with his mother-son dance. [http://huff.to/1lDOMfa]

- Bones of the earliest-known Native American may have been found in an underwater cave. [http://bit.ly/1nPc4St]

- This baby with a GoPro camera will make you dizzy. [http://bzfd.it/1qGmLsJ]


@TheFix: That guy stinks! MT @jasoncherkis: This week's stupidity will reach peak stupidity with @TheFix declaring Jill Abramson had the worst week.

@mattdpearce: [faves every tweet on the Internet, achieves brand singularity]

@pareene: Starring Robin Williams as Glenn Greenwald, the man who discovers that the real solution to unchecked government surveillance... is laughter

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