05/27/2014 07:44 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

These Vintage Beauty Tips And Tricks Show Just How Far We've Come

Who hasn't gotten a questionable piece of beauty advice or bought into the hype of a too-good-to-be-true beauty product? Like how you should brush your hair 100 times a day to make it stronger and healthier? Or purchase the infomercial Neck Slimmer to firm up that turkey neck? Or how about the ab belt that will melt off your spare tire as you sit on the couch eating Doritos? Been there.

Through our beauty misfortunes and mishaps we've learned, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. And it's usually utterly ridiculous. Always has been. Here's the proof:

If only we could massage our arms into shape... we would quickly massage them into Michelle Obama's arms.
arm massage

It seems we've spent far too much on pricey face creams, when all we needed was a bandage. Ugh.
wrinkle tape

Our trips to the gym have been in vain... all we needed to melt away that double chin was a steady hand.

And this face/body pummeling device. Scary.

Yep, science is wrong. Spot weight loss is possible.

Apparently, plastic surgeons should have been obsolete after this terrifying invention hit the markets.

Or this thing... which reminds us of Hannibal Lecter!

Nope, your hair loss has nothing to do with diet, age, or even genetics. It's all because you aren't using this master cap.

Wait -- seriously? Who would ever want to get rid of their beautiful freckles?



Spring Break!