06/03/2014 09:33 am ET Updated Jun 03, 2014

Don't Tell Me It's ‘Not All Men'

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I was out of town and away from the computer when Elliot Rodger stabbed his roommates to death and then embarked on a shooting spree that he described as a “war on women.” That means I missed the response to it that took place online, on Twitter, with women sharing their stories of the everyday violence they face.

But this conversation isn’t new; it feels like something we’ve been building for a while, with each new article or incident of violence. We tell our stories, and some men express shock that this happens, that the world is full of threats if you happen to be female, and even more so if you are queer, trans, or a person of color. And like clockwork, too, some people will pop up to respond that it can’t be that bad, that not all men are responsible. Not all men rape. Not all men sexually harass. Not all men are violent. Not all men catcall.

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