Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
I knew I was going to be a good mom the first week 4 was home from the hospital & I'd slap the baby monitor off like it was an alarm clock.
— Wine-O-Mite (@Jen_Up_) June 5, 2014
4 y/o followed me to the bathroom (as usual) & I had to explain menstruation. I think I failed b/c at the end she asked "So...you're dead?"
— Bunmi Laditan (@BunmiLaditan) June 1, 2014
I'm pretty sure the key to infinite sustainable energy can be found within the vocal chords of a 6yo.
— Wicked Cynic (@WickedCynic) June 5, 2014
My 6 yr old just asked which season her life story was in so maybe she watches too much tv
— -ￃﾗ- (@seagullski) June 1, 2014
Had to have "the talk" with my 9 y/old daughter to clear up that neither birds nor bees bring babies but that storks do. She's educated now.
— TeriKOyahyoubetcha (@terio1429) June 3, 2014
Parenting has taught me that sometimes hiding in the pantry, stuffing handfuls of dry cereal in your mouth counts as dinner
— Casey Michelle (@CaseyMichelle__) May 27, 2014
7: Dad, why did the Tooth Fairy write me a check?
Me: I don't know but she needs you to hold on to it until the 15th.
— Sam (@SamDeLanche) February 3, 2014