The 2014 FIFA World Cup started this past Thursday, causing the Internet to implode. Even non-soccer lovers got in one the action, commenting on the truly important things about the game. "The World Cup is the time I'm most aware of the fact that humans, globally, have awful taste in music and worse taste in tattoos," Erin Gloria Ryan tweeted. Duly noted.
Twitter user Shira came up with an alternative to soccer mania when she tweeted, "World Cup O' Noodles is an event I'd be into." Totally, us too.
For more great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Men are just machines you pour beer into until the sex falls out.
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) June 10, 2014
pugs have the best resting bitch face
— Amanda Scherker (@ScherkitUP) June 10, 2014
Overheard at @HuffPostWomen: "It's so big." Context: Press copy of "hard choices" by hillary clinton.
— Amanda Duberman (@AmandaDuberman) June 11, 2014
"Size DOES matter", I whisper to my double stuffed Oreos.
— Lauren (@NurseSeymour) June 10, 2014
I believe it was Emily Post who said, "If you sit by an outlet in a coffee shop without using your laptop, you are the scourge of society."
— Gena (@GenaKaufman) June 11, 2014
Repel mosquitoes naturally by inviting them to your 11 PM improv show.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) June 8, 2014
Is the gym supposed to smell like misery and regret?
— Super Girl (@AphroditeAfter5) June 8, 2014
You can't make a man stay in a relationship if he doesn't want to but you can hide under his bed.
— Annekinns (@Annekinns) June 11, 2014
how many more days of soccer tweets
— Jessica Misener (@jessmisener) June 13, 2014
Say, let's do a series where the title sequence is a thousand times better than the actual show. We can call it 'True Blood.'
— Paige (@PeachCoffin) June 11, 2014
I'd imagine the worst part about being a penguin is after you lose an argument, you'd attempt to waddle away angrily but still look adorable
— Jewpac Shakur (@jewfacekilla) June 11, 2014
OMG I Cantor Even
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) June 11, 2014
Dear ladies wondering: "Should I buy a Father's Day card for my boyfriend and make it 'from the cat'?" No, probably not.
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) June 13, 2014
I've received the most empathy and concern from strangers when I've dropped my phone in public.
— kdn (@kdn13) June 11, 2014
I just don't ever imagine being comfortable enough with someone to put my iPod on shuffle.
— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) June 10, 2014
World Cup O' Noodles is an event I'd be into
— Shira (@shiraselko) June 12, 2014
The World Cup is the time I'm most aware of the fact that humans, globally, have awful taste in music and worse taste in tattoos.
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) June 12, 2014
Crazy cat ladies aren't so bad, you should try hanging out with crazy spider ladies
— JessicaDelfino (@jessicadelfino) June 8, 2014
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) June 11, 2014
Just climbed in cab, driver says, "Where to, sir?" Killlllllllin' it!
— Abbi Jacobson (@abbijacobson) June 12, 2014
My dog is flashing his dick all over town and the Internet and no one makes a thing about it #doublestandard
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) June 12, 2014
You know you need coffee(s) when you try to swipe your house keys at the subway turnstile #tgif
— Suleika Jaouad (@suleikajaouad) June 13, 2014