06/16/2014 09:22 am ET Updated Jun 16, 2014

How To Create The Exact Life You Want

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As a 20-something I spend time imaging the life I want. One day I’ll be able to afford a spacious loft in the city with outdoor space and huge windows overlooking the park. One day I’ll meet the man with whom I want to spend the rest of my life with, and we will create a family. One day an editor from a renowned publication will call me and offer me a dream job. The way I think about these things mirrors a fairy-tale; they will happen to me at some point in the future, I just have to wait patiently for them to occur.

But Karen Mason Riss, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Memphis, Tennessee whom I call my trusted advisor, corrects my thinking. “Most people think they are discovering their lives: they pray, they hope something good will happen. But what I think, what I say, what I do, creates my reality,” she says. “We are creative beings, not discovery beings.”

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