COMEDY
07/01/2014 12:58 pm ET

17 Fourth Of July Someecards For All The Snarky Patriots Out There

We associate the Fourth of July with many things -- barbecues, beer, obscene amounts of red, white and blue. Most importantly, though, it's America's birthday! You're not going to be that asshole who doesn't send a card on someone's birthday, are you?

If you forgot to pick out a card for Uncle Sam, don't worry. We've got you covered. Below are the 17 funniest Fourth of July Someecards we could find. Send away because U-S-A!

  • 1 Thanks a lot, SCOTUS.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/fourth-of-july-independence-day-vagina-birth-
    To send this card, go here!
  • 2 No homemade fireworks people!!!!
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/alcohol-fireworks-fourth-of-july-independence
    To send this card, go here!
  • 3 Well, when you put it that way...
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMy1jZTBlMmY5ODBlZDc5ZWI3" target="_blank">her
    To send this card, go here!
  • 4 Sigh.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMS0wYzM1YmFiM2Q4ZTg3YmY5" target="_blank">her
    To send this card, go here!
  • 5 Thanks, America.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/independence-day-lazy-week-off-america-funny-
    To send this card, go here!
  • 6 The irony.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMS0yNGQ2YmVjNWQ3MzI2ZGFj" target="_blank">her
    To send this card, go here!
  • 7 You will NEVER take a good picture of fireworks on your iPhone.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/fireworks-iphone-fouth-of-july-independence-d
    To send this card, go here!
  • 8 We'll get right back where we left off on the 5th.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/complain-about-america-fourth-of-july-celebra
    To send this card, go here!
  • 9 A card for Ann Coulter?
    To send this, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/192913b9331cb2510426bcc0afeaeca0" target="_blank">here
    To send this, go here!
  • 10 U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/this-july-4th-im-certainly-not-above" target=
    To send this card, go here!
  • 11 The WORST.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/fireworks-fourth-of-july-independence-day-tra
    To send this card, go here!
  • 12 Womp wompppp.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/lets-proudly-wave-our-american-flags" target=
    To send this card, go here!
  • 13 God bless America, indeed.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/thank-god-our-founding-fathers-didnt" target=
    To send this card, go here!
  • 14 Veggie burgers are SO un-American.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/vegeterian-meat-barbecue-nuts-independence-da
    To send this card, go here!
  • 15 Budweiser only, please.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/vegeterian-meat-barbecue-nuts-independence-da
    To send this card, go here!
  • 16 Sorry, T.Jefferson.
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/vegeterian-meat-barbecue-nuts-independence-da
    To send this card, go here!
  • 17 As if shooting off fireworks wasn't dangerous enough...
    To send this card, go <a href="http://www.someecards.com/independence-day-cards/vegeterian-meat-barbecue-nuts-independence-da
    To send this card, go here!
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