07/03/2014 08:00 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Out-Of-Office Email Examples To Help You WIN The Fourth Of July

fourth of july out of office
Photo courtesy: Peskymonkey via Getty

Come on, we all already know what your out-of-office email reply is going to say this weekend. "Hello, I'm out of the office until X. For emergencies, dial X. I will respond on X..."

Want to really have fun with America's birthday? Before you head to your Fourth of July celebration (in a cute little colonial town, for instance), cue up a witty automated response that would make Uncle Sam proud.

If you work in the food industry...
"Thank you for your email, but there is actually no way my fingers are free to type on the national holiday of both ribs AND corn on the cob. I will respond promptly on July 7, when I emerge from my food coma."

If you work in fashion...
"Thank you for your email. I am out of the office today, Instagramming every patriotic hipster's red-white-and-blue Birkenstocks for a 'street style' campaign. Now go pair your patriotic bandeau with some high-waisted cut-offs, and we'll chat on Monday."

If you work in finance...
"Thank you for your e-mail. I am currently enjoying my one day of sunlight per year -- I look forward to returning your message promptly at 4am tomorrow. Or maybe during the fireworks."

If you're a comedian...
"An email reply, on the Fourth of July!? LOLZ."

If you're an athlete...
"Thank you for your message. I am pretty much the mascot of America's favorite pastime, so unfortunately today requires me to be out in the field (get it, FIELD?!). Anyways, I'll 'catch' you later!"

If you're a student...
"Thanks for your email, but there's a keg at the Phi Psi house."

If you're in tech...
"Thank you for your email. I could theoretically access my inbox remotely from my new 'wearable tech' wristwatch, but I'd rather not. May the Fourth be with you today."

If you're an artist...
"Thank you for your email. In lieu of a response, I pose these questions: What IS the Fourth of July? What IS freedom? And which socioeconomic structures enable society to maintain a unified celebratory attitude for the duration of this holiday? Please respond with your thoughts... my work is SO uninspired right now."

If you're a parent...
"Thanks for your email. Today, in the 'office' that is my existence, we're doing tie-dye and lawn games. Let's face it: I'll probably never get back to your email. Just come on over!"



Americas Best Towns for July 4th