07/25/2014 05:01 pm ET Updated Jul 25, 2014

An Anti-Tribute To Kramer, The Worst Neighbor And Friend In TV History


A while back when I took on the unenviable scientific research process of ranking all of Jerry’s girlfriends from Seinfeld, I vowed that my crack team of experts was far from done. I also mentioned not only the fact that Jerry Seinfeld’s TV neighbor, Cosmo Kramer, was a terrible neighbor, but that he was an awful human being in general, one who should have been tossed in prison for myriad reasons. Today, on the occasion of Michael Richards’s 65th birthday, I decided that it was time to discuss some of those reasons while determining just how long that a disgusting, selfish, womanizing, thieving scoundrel like Kramer truly deserved to be locked away in the darkest prison on this planet.