07/31/2014 03:22 pm ET Updated Jul 31, 2014

Cybersex Instructional Video From 1997 Is So Bad It's Good (But Still Bad)

Dear single people of the world: do you ever find yourself at home on a Saturday night, cursing your lame Tinder matches and wishing there was more to your sex life?

Well, cry no more; "How To Have CyberSex On The Internet" is here to help you.

This instructional video, discovered by the folks at Found Footage, is from a VHS tape circa 1997 (from a company called Scimitar Entertainment) and gives viewers a step-by-step guide to having incredible sex online. For example, it will teach you how to "master the art of one-handed typing" and how to send sexy messages like, "I'm very horny and looking for some good cybersex are you interested?"

Of course, all this must be done topless, while wearing high-waisted jeans and a belt -- as illustrated by the lovely instructor. Enjoy!

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Sex Tips For Husbands And Wives From 1894