POLITICS
08/01/2014 05:09 pm ET Updated Aug 01, 2014

HUFFPOST HILL - Immigration Reform Is Dead And Ebola Is Alive

President Obama acknowledged that "we tortured some folks" after 9/11, though if he's going to insist on talking like George W. Bush, he should at least clear some brush while doing so. Dick Morris says he wouldn't be surprised if President Obama resigned soon -- a bold statement, but Bill Kristol is still the leading contender to receive this year's HuffPost Hill "Dow 36,000" Award In Forecasting Achievement. And the unemployment rate went up a tick, though the data haven't been seasonally adjusted to reflect Eric Cantor's forthcoming finance job. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Friday, August 1st, 2014:

'WE TORTURED SOME FOLKS' - Obama's statement is almost as bad as that time we tortured some folks. Igor Bobic: "President Barack Obama bluntly acknowledged on Friday that the United States conducted torture in the immediate aftermath of the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks. 'I was very clear that in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, we did some things that were wrong,' he said. 'We did a whole lot of things that were right, but we tortured some folks. We did some things that were contrary to our values.' 'We crossed the line and that needs to be understood and accepted. And we have to, as a country, take responsibility for that so we don't do it in the future,' he added." [HuffPost]

HOUSE GETS READY TO DROP MIC - Though we're still not sure when, exactly, the vote is happening. Elise Foley: "The House is expected to vote later Friday on a reworked and even more conservative package to address the ongoing border crisis, with measures that would speed up deportations and a separate vote to end a policy that protects from deportation undocumented young people with long-standing ties to the U.S. Then they'll leave Washington, having successfully gone after one of President Barack Obama's key policies but approving funding legislation that couldn't get through the Senate -- which isn't here to pass it anyway. Congress, in other words, is set to skip town until September without sending a bill to the president's desk to deal with an influx of more than 57,500 unaccompanied minors who have been apprehended at the border since the beginning of October -- even though nearly all members in both chambers have deemed the situation a crisis." [HuffPost]

STEVE KING MUST REALLY LIKE ALL THE CANTALOUPE JOKES - "The changes brought into this are ones I’ve developed and advocated for over the past two years,” he told CQ Roll Call. "It’s like I ordered it off the menu."

OBAMA SCOLDS HOUSE GOP - These guys refuse to eat their peas and Obama just doesn't understand why. Elise Foley: "President Barack Obama criticized House Republicans on Friday for planning to pass 'the most extreme and unworkable versions of a bill that they already know is going nowhere' amid an ongoing border crisis. 'They're not even trying to actually solve the problem,' Obama said of the House GOP at a press conference from the White House. 'This is a message bill that they couldn't pull off yesterday, so they made it a little more extreme so maybe they can pass it today. Just so they can check a box before they're leaving town for a month..... 'Keep in mind that just a few days earlier, they voted to sue me for acting on my own,' Obama said. 'And then when they couldn't pass a bill yesterday, they put out a statement suggesting I should act on my own because they couldn't pass a bill.' Obama added that he would have to reallocate funding on his own because Congress has not approved funding for the border crisis. 'I'm going to have to act alone, because we don't have enough resources,' he said." [HuffPost]

"Look, you can't say on the one hand that the president is overreaching by acting without legislative authority and direction and then refuse to give him legislative authority and direction in another area," Rep. Tom Cole (R-Okla.), a frequent voice of moderation in the House GOP conference, said on MSNBC's "The Daily Rundown."

DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - Carol Riedel said her unemployment insurance has just run out, after losing her job as a mortgage underwriter in January. (She would have been eligible for more weeks of compensation if Congress hadn't dropped the benefits.) She said she does have a contract job, but no work has been coming in. Riedel, who contacted HuffPost in response to a story about an unemployed person, said she is studying online to get an associate's degree in information technology so she can switch industries. Meanwhile, she said, she is low on food and feels bad for her teenage daughter and also her landlord, who has been forgiving so far about late rent… Riedel said her least favorite thing is hearing that unemployed people don't want to work. "I’m on Facebook and people repost things that say this and that -- 'People are just looking for handouts,' and that’s a lie," she said, adding that unemployment is intolerable. "It's like death." [HuffPost]

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OBAMA COOL WITH GUY WHO LIED - Igor Bobic: "President Barack Obama said Friday that he has "full confidence" in Central Intelligence Agency Director John Brennan, despite calls for his resignation over a damning report that found employees snooped on computers used by U.S. Senate staff to investigate the agency. 'Keep in mind that John Brennan was the person who called for the [inspector general] report,' the president said. According to a CIA Inspector General’s Office report, agency employees in 2009 hacked Senate computers being used to compile a report on the agency’s infamous detention and interrogation program -- a move that critics have characterized as a significant breach of the separation of powers." [HuffPost]

BRENNAN FLASHBACK: "As far as allegations about CIA hacking into Senate computers, nothing could be further from the truth."

ERIC CANTOR PREPARES TO GHOST - It's Hamptons time. Alan Suderman: "After a stunning primary election loss, former Majority Leader Eric Cantor said Friday that he will resign his seat in the House months earlier than expected. The congressman will step down Aug. 18 and has asked Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe to call a special election to enable his successor to take office immediately, Cantor said in a statement, a day after stepping down from his leadership post." [AP]

OBAMACARE IS SOOOO UNPOPULAR - People will be happier when the death panels finally start. Jeff Young: "A majority of Americans disapprove of Obamacare, the highest share since President Barack Obama's health care reforms became law more than four years ago, according to survey findings released Friday. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation's health care tracking poll for July reveals that 53 percent of people view the Affordable Care Act unfavorably, a jump of 8 percentage points since June. July's results mark the fifth time since April 2010, and the first time since January, that at least half of Americans are not supportive of the health care reform law." [HuffPost]

DOJ APPEALING OBAMACARE SMACKDOWN - "The Justice Department asked a full federal appeals court Friday to take up a case that has endangered subsidies helping millions of low- and middle-income people to afford their health care premiums under Obamacare. Last week, a divided three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit said financial aid can be provided only in states that have set up their own insurance markets, or exchanges." [AP]

UNEMPLOYMENT GOES UP, BUT IT'S OK - "U.S. employers extended this year's hiring surge into July by adding a solid 209,000 jobs. It was the sixth straight month of job growth above 200,000, evidence that businesses are shedding the caution that had marked the 5-year-old economic recovery. The unemployment rate ticked up to 6.2 percent from 6.1 percent as more Americans started looking for work. Not all found jobs, but the increase suggests that they are more optimistic about their prospects. The jobless aren't counted as unemployed unless they are actively seeking employment." [AP]

YIKES - "West Africa's Ebola outbreak is out of control but it can be stopped, World Health Organization chief Margaret Chan said on Friday. 'This outbreak is moving faster than our efforts to control it,' Chan told the presidents of Guinea, Liberia, Sierra Leone and Ivory Coast at a meeting in Guinea's capital Conakry. 'If the situation continues to deteriorate, the consequences can be catastrophic in terms of lost lives but also severe socioeconomic disruption and a high risk of spread to other countries,' she said, according to a WHO transcript." [Reuters]

UGGGHHHHHH DICK MORRIS! - Jason Linkins: "On Thursday, Dick Morris -- Hurricane Sandy victim and wrongest man in America (even when he's attempting to admit that he's wrong) -- brought forth to America new prognostication, courtesy of Newsmax: 'If I open the newspaper tomorrow and I learn that Obama resigned, I wouldn't be surprised,' Morris added. I guess Dick Morris is going to read about 800 or so more newspapers and experience a shock each and every time. Which is weird, because if Morris can stick it out in this punditry game this long without suffering a sudden burst of self-awareness that causes him to leave his home and go live naked in the woods somewhere, then anyoneshould feel OK about keeping their jobs." [HuffPost]

BARNEY FRANK 'APPALLED' BY OBAMA - Zach Carter: "President Barack Obama made a major political mistake by lying about the details of his health care plan, according to former House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank (D-Mass.). 'The rollout was so bad, and I was appalled -- I don't understand how the president could have sat there and not been checking on that on a weekly basis,' Frank told HuffPost during a July interview. 'But frankly, he should never have said as much as he did, that if you like your current health care plan, you can keep it. That wasn't true. And you shouldn't lie to people. And they just lied to people.'" [HuffPost]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Enjoy hate-reading this piece about Confederate Flaggers in Virginia.

DON YOUNG WILL SEE YOU AT SUMMERSLAM - Ashley Alman: "Rep. Don Young (R-Alaska) issued an apology Thursday after footage and reports of him aggressively grabbing a staffer's arm began to circulate the web. NBC producer Frank Thorp shared a short video of the run-in on Thursday afternoon. Thorp said the staffer tried to stop Young from heading into a House Republican meeting when the representative took hold of his arm. Young said the individual was 'unidentified' and physically blocking his path in a statement later Thursday. 'While returning to the GOP conference meeting to discuss the ongoing situation on our southern border I was caught off guard by an unidentified individual who was physically blocking me from reentering the room,' he said, according to Thorp. 'Regardless, my reaction was wrong and I should have never placed my hands on the young man.'" [HuffPost]

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS NEEDS A NEW HEADLINE WRITER Just, ya know, read it out loud first before hitting publish next time. [HuffPost]

COMFORT FOOD

- How to have cybersex on the Internet, according to 1997 [http://huff.to/1ohiCUx]

- This crappy tip-toeing thing might be the next Harlem Shake, unfortunately [http://bzfd.it/1kbcrGz]

- Armless man throws ceremonial first pitch [http://huff.to/1AIgsXV]

- Homophobic school fires guy for explaining homophones [bit.ly/1ohj1GG]

- Couple's sign language singalong is pretty great [http://huff.to/1zDACRr]

- Troll Holes of DC [http://bit.ly/1kbzmBx]

TWITTERAMA

@SarahMMimms: "Are you the one who order the enchiladas? Please come with us, sir." #SteveKingMenu http://t.co/WzJQSiHNi3

@MarkAgee: THE YEAR IS 2016. FACEBOOK DOWN FOR TWO YEARS NOW. AMERICA'S NEW MOMS ROAM THE STREETS. IS MY BABY PRETTY? THEY SAY. PLEASE LIKE MY BABY.

@TPCarney: How'd we get scrambled eggs?

We tortured some yolks.

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