08/04/2014 01:40 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

How This Lesbian Couple Is Choosing Their Family Name Is Literally Game-Changing

Couples everywhere are finding new and creative ways to name their families.

Until recently -- and even now -- in many cultures it's considered traditional for women to give up their last name and take on their partner's when they marry, but then-fiancées Tanya Kalivas and Martha West had no clear convention to follow. Both were understandably attached to their own.

The two first met on the field in Brooklyn while playing in the New York Metropolitan Women's Soccer League. Kalivas was aggressive in her pursuit -- both of West, and of the ball.

"She was fouling me incessantly throughout the contest," West told the New York Times, "I thought to myself, as physical as she played against me, she couldn't possibly want my number."

But Kalivas did, and five years later, they planned a wedding.

When it came to naming the family they were creating, though, there was no easy answer. So the competitive couple picked the solution that best fit them: they moved the conversation off the dinner table, and onto the soccer field.

The pair's respective families and friends went head to head before the rehearsal dinner for the right to choose the name. Everyone came armed with matching T-shirts and the will to win. By the end of the match, they were dripping in sweat.

"I would say on the scale of 1 to 10, how competitive this is: a 10," says West.

So competitive that after a penalty kick, the match ended 1-1. Kalivas and West couldn't go into overtime because they had the dinner to get ready for, so for now they're each keeping their respective names.

However, there might be a rematch in their future if they decide to have children.

The entire experience just goes to show that while tradition might have a lot to say when it comes to love, it's you that gets to make the call. You, and maybe the ref.



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