If you're going to drink, don't pick a designated driver who can't get his learner's permit until 2022.
A Pennsylvania DUI suspect is parked in a jail cell for allegedly letting his 8-year-old nephew steer the car.
Clarence W. Hairston, 58, of Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, was arrested Saturday afternoon after a police officer noticed a car being driven erratically.
“The vehicle had stopped in the middle of the road and then was accelerating and braking. When it turned the corner onto Littlecroft, it struck a parked car," Delaware County Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood told the Delco Times.
When the officer walked over to the stalled car, he saw a man later identified as Hairston sitting in the driver’s seat holding a 25-ounce can of beer.
Oh, and something else.
"There was an 8-year-old boy on his lap steering the vehicle and another boy, a 9-year-old, in the back seat jumping around," Chitwood said. "When the car finally stopped, the little boys got out and the driver gets out with the can of beer in his hand.”
The officer said Hairston allegedly fell twice while trying to get out of the car and claimed there was another empty 25-ounce Bud Ice can in the center console.
After Hairston got out of the car, he allegedly continued drinking according to a police affidavit that alleged he was “unsteady on his feet,” had blood shot eyes, “slurred speech” and “stunk of an alcoholic beverage.”
Hairston told the officer he "did nothing wrong” and “was only letting the kids go for a drive,” CBS Philly reports. He also claimed to be a Philadelphia cop and told the officer that “it’s not right to jam up another cop.”
Police arrested Hairston and took him to a local hospital where he refused to take a Breathalyzer test. He was charged with driving under the influence, endangering the welfare of a child, reckless endangerment, permitting an unauthorized person to drive a car, and related crimes.
Chitwood didn't mince words about his opinion of the suspect.
"The guy is a total moron, it's the best way to describe him," he told 6ABC.com, adding that the neighborhood kids and cops have taken to calling the suspect "Uncle Drunk."
Hairston is being held in the Delaware County jail on $15,000 bail, and is due in court on Aug. 28.