MEDIA
09/10/2014 08:44 am ET Updated Sep 10, 2014

We Figured Out Why The Westboro Baptist Church Hates Us So Much

Sarah Rice via Getty Images

(Note: we got the picture above by searching for "lesbian atheist" in our photo archives.)

As you may have heard, the good people of the Westboro Baptist Church have decided to stop picketing funerals for a day and come protest the media instead — and that includes this humble little website.

At first, we were like, "US? What did we ever do?" Helpfully, the clip-art happy media wing of the WBC has sketched out its "reasoning" in this in-depth Instagram analysis: "Fags, baby killers, adulterers and serial fornicators would not rule this nation if the media were not empowering them very intentionally."

That's a very good point. After all, gay polyamorous abortionist Barack Obama IS the president.

But we were still wondering what we, The Huffington Post, had done to deserve such hosannas. Here we were thinking that all we're doing is telling people to discover more contemplative yoga techniques, and actually we're enabling the breakdown of all moral values! We had to investigate this claim, so we asked editors across the site to share the posts they'd done that the Westboro Baptist Church would really despise. Below, a very, very small sampling of work that we're proud to say puts us on the opposite side of all that our fanatical friends hold dear and true.

"This Is How Often Women Masturbate." A shocking exposé of the fact that women do not spend every hour alone celebrating their chastity.

"10 Ways The DOMA Repeal Will Affect 'Traditional Marriage.'" Hint: it won't!

"The Shame-Free Guide To Buying A Sex Toy." That, uh, pretty much speaks for itself.

"Time's Laverne Cox Cover Is Awesome And Beautiful." Uh-oh, we celebrated a trans woman. Also it sort of sounds like we said "cocks," which just compounds the crime.

"9 Common Things That Used To Be Totally Taboo." Girls wearing pants?! What has happened to this country?

"'Others: Gender,' Brian Reda Photography Project, Documents Trans And Genderqueer Individuals (NSFW)." There are so many things the WBC hates here—nudity, gender non-conformity, artistic photography.

"7 Tarot Readers Who Are Shaping Brooklyn's Alternative Spiritual Community (PHOTOS)." ALTERNATIVE?!

"Presbyterian Church Votes To Allow Gay Marriages." We'll file this under "Sometimes the news makes crazed zealots unhappy."

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