COMEDY
09/22/2014 02:43 pm ET Updated Sep 22, 2014

UCB Helps The NFL Get Its House In Order With Official Response To Domestic Violence Scandal

If, like nearly everyone, you've been appalled at the way the National Football League has handled the domestic violence scandal, then we have the scathing parody for you.

Upright Citizens Brigade group Pocketwatch takes on the NFL's half-hearted attempts to address the issue by introducing its Executive Vice President of Communications & Public Affairs, who attempts to make the NFL policy very clear. For instance: "One strike and you're out, unless you're a franchise player," the VP explains. "In that case, it's three strikes and you're warned."

Most importantly, no NFL player is allowed to commit war crimes. Who says the NFL is soft on violence?

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