OWN
10/03/2014 09:09 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

3 Eye-Opening Reasons Men Have Children With Several Different Women (VIDEO)

In part one of her follow-up special on her work with Jay Williams, a man who fathered 34 children with 17 different women, Iyanla Vanzant gathered a group a mothers to tackle the issue of wounded women settling for wounded men. The women -- including several of Jay's exes -- spoke about their experiences in dysfunctional relationships and why they stayed; then, it was the men's turn.

"I really want us to understand how and why men use sex to get what they want," Iyanla said to the audience. "So, we asked a few men this question. Here's what they said..."

Juaamne, 34
As a man with six children by four different women, Juaamne says that in his past, he was a selfish person who didn't care what others thought of him. He admits to purposefully using sex to get what he wanted, but didn't expect to become a father in the process. "I used to use sex as a tool to get credit, to get things signed in my name -- apartments, cars, things of that nature," Juaamne says. "Not with the real intent to father children. But, that's what happened."

Terence, 42
Terence, a father of four with two different women, says that some men use sex as a way to keep a woman around without making a real commitment. "A lot of men feel that if they can perform really, really good in bed... that it's enough to keep a woman 'hooked,'" he says. "Women have a tendency to have this... 'hope factor.' Most men don't take a woman's heart into consideration."

Nathaniel, 40
With 28 children by 17 different women, Nathaniel says that sometimes, there is no ulterior motive -- and the women are well aware of what they're getting into. "Call me a 'womanizer,' whatever the case may be, but sex has just been about sex," he says. "Every time I've been involved with [a woman], everybody's known how many children I had at the time. It takes two to tango, right?"

After hearing what these men had to say, the women in the audience audibly exhale. Iyanla turns to Aisha, who has one child with Jay, and asks for her response.

"I'm not really surprised," she says. "It's the truth."

"It's the painful truth," adds Chantau, another ex of Jay's who had four of his children.

It may be painful, but Iyanla feels it's very important for the women to really hear what the men were saying. "I want us to understand," she says. "So, can we hear this? Because we can't hear it when our girlfriends are telling us... Did you hear that?"

The women nod. Iyanla then asks them one of the most important questions of the evening. "Why didn't you protect yourself?" she wonders. "It's one thing for us to need the person, the penis or the promise. But why do we have children in those situations? Why?"

"Just still holding onto that promise," Chantau says quietly. "I was holding onto the promise."

Jay, Juaamne, Terence and Nathaniel reunite with Iyanla for a candid in-studio discussion about love, infidelity and fatherhood on a new episode of "Iyanla: Fix My Life," airing Saturday, October 4, at 9 p.m. ET on OWN.

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