Are you so consumed with getting married that you might settle for Mr. Right Now instead of waiting for Mr. Right? Before you make that huge mistake, Dr. Phil suggests you ask yourself these questions:
- What is it that you're focused on exactly? Are you obsessed with having a fantasy wedding or actually being married? If it’s the former, remember that a fairytale wedding is just one day of your life.
- Have you planned out the details of your wedding even though you're not engaged? “If you build it, they will come” may be a famous line from “Field of Dreams,” but it doesn’t work that way with marriage. If you plan your ideal wedding, your future husband will not magically appear.
- If you are desperate to get married, you could be giving out signals that are scaring away potential partners. Seven percent of communication is verbal and the other 93 percent is nonverbal. What kinds of nonverbal signals might you be sending out?
- In your desperation to get married, are you moving toward something or away from something? For example, are you just sick of being single or are you really ready to build a life with a partner? Or perhaps, you just want to move out of your parents’ house and marriage seems like a way to make that happen. Before you tie the knot, you need to moving toward someone you love, not away from circumstances you want to leave behind.
- Do you yearn to be married because you believe it will make you feel complete? Understand that marriage doesn't complete you. If you think you need to be half of a couple in order to be all of who you are, you've got more homework to do to figure who you authentically are. Just you, that’s right.
- Are you in a conflict with a parent or authority figure because of your desire to marry? If so, could getting married be an act of rebellion? Consider this if you are of legal age to marry. If you don't need permission to marry, what is your payoff for the conflict?
- If you are engaged, have you discussed religion, children, careers, division of labor, in-laws and geography with your partner? If not, how do you anticipate that you'll be able to successfully merge two lives together? Until you have answers to these tough questions, you’re simply not ready.
- Do you feel social pressure to get married soon? It's possible that from a very young age you were taught that marriage is a rite of passage, and you don't become an adult or a real woman until you get married. Remember that this social pressure, real or imagined, doesn't make it true.