"American Horror Story: Freak Show" finally debuted on Wednesday night, and it was full of all the creepy, sexual madness we expected. While we knew a decent amount about the new season before it premiered, the first episode, "Monsters Among Us," still managed to surprise. For instance, while we knew Evan Peters' character had lobster hands on the show, we did not expect him to do that with them. There was more, too. Here are all the OMG-worthy moments from the "American Horror Story: Freak Show" premiere (major spoilers follow):
(Warning: Some images below are NSFW)
Evan Peters prostituted his lobster hands
Meet Evan Peters' Jimmy Darling, or what women are calling "a lifesaver for the American housewife!" Jimmy Darling may be bullied and called a freak for his lobster-like fingers, but we quickly find out in the season premiere that he makes some nice side cash for sexual favors. Jimmy is the main event at housewives' Tupperware-esque parties, using his special hands to please women in ways their husbands can't.
Sarah Paulson murdered her mother, then stabbed herself/her sister
Not only does Sarah Paulson have two heads in "Freak Show," but those two heads are constantly clashing. We find out that it wasn't the murderous Twisty the Clown who killed Bette and Dot Tattler's parents, but Bette, who was driven to stab her mother to death. Then Dot stabbed her sister (which is also like stabbing herself). All Bette wanted was to see "Singing in the Rain," geez!
What would a sexual season of "American Horror Story" be without a good ol' fashioned orgy? One of the more unsettling moments from the episode (mostly due to the screeching music that accompanied the scene), this scene showed footage of Grace Gummer's (yep, Meryl Streep's daughter!) Penny the Candy Striper smoking opium and having a wild orgy with Elsa's performers. The highlight was an overly-excited Pepper, who was definitely having the best time out of anyone there.
Jessica Lange lost most of her legs
The premiere of "Freak Show" presented us with the notion that Elsa Mars was different from her troupe of performers and using her circus to become famous. While that is definitely true, we find out in the very final moments of the episode that Elsa is just like her employees, different from the rest of society: She has lost her legs below the knee.
"American Horror Story: Freak Show" airs on Wednesdays at 10:00 p.m. ET on FX.