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10/14/2014 01:16 pm ET Updated Oct 15, 2014

Alex Ovechkin Stars In Awkward Russian Music Video

Whatever you do, don't look directly into his eyes. If you do, your best method of escape is to maintain eye contact while slowly backing away. Don't panic, and don't make any sudden movements.

A bizarre new music video features Washington Capitals right winger Alex Ovechkin, who for the entirety of the video, barely moves, doesn't blink and certainly doesn't dance. All this while Russian pop star Katya Lel strokes his chest and generally invades his personal space in every way imaginable.

It's three and a half minutes of awkward hilarity, and all we can hope is whoever casts "Dancing With the Stars" convinces Ovechkin to audition.

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