Nation, Halloween is just a few days away, and already the government has begun its assault on traditional Halloween values.
Stephen Colbert is once again looking out for us in the latest episode of "The Colbert Report." Environmentally friendly pumpkin carvings and animal safe candy labels are just a few of the ways the overbearing U.S. government is threatening this "most hallowed of eens."
But as Stephen explains in the clip up top, he will "monster mash anyone who threatens this sacred Pagan holiday." After all, we send the other vegetables a message by stabbing a pumpkin in the face.