DIVORCE
11/13/2014 01:18 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

17 Signs No One In The Universe Is More Single Than You

Feel like you've been single and ready to mingle for so long, you're deserving of some kind of endurance award?

Hey, you just might be. Below, 17 signs you have officially out-singled all other single people in the universe.

Your idea of a warm embrace looks a little something like this.

You're jealous of these hand-holding gummy bears.

Your emergency contact is depressing. Real depressing.

A photo posted by Scott Backman (@scott_backman) on

You go to the trouble of staging selfies with your fake girlfriend.


You don't even go to the trouble of faking a girlfriend anymore.

A photo posted by Gil Maghanoy (@gilblowsminds) on

You've aged decades in the time it's taken to find The One. (Hey, at least you'll always have dear old dad.)

A photo posted by @femmerouge13 on

This drawing accurately illustrates your "love life."

You realize nothing brings the boys to the yard. Not even milkshakes.


milkshake

Forget your mom. Even your Coke cans are starting to dole out unsolicited relationship advice.

You give serious thought to buying this pillow.

A photo posted by Julia Lager (@sthlmjulia) on

You reinvent this romantic photo trend to incorporate your one true love: food.

A photo posted by Brandi (@smuwe7) on

You swap out your old furniture for pieces more accommodating to your current living situation.


You start dedicating your favorite love songs to foodstuff.


donuts
(Image via Sirja Ellen/Flickr)

You look for new creative ways to pretend you're soooo in love.

A photo posted by Adam Tipsord (@tipsord01) on

Your "dinner with bae" posts on Instagram look something like this.

A photo posted by Noori (@noor7311) on

You've truly exhausted every last avenue in your attempt to find someone to date.

A photo posted by thefatjewish (@thefatjewish) on

Until finally, you just give up and accept Nutella as the love of your life.

A photo posted by Jessica Sold (@tschetzikhaa) on

Can't argue with that logic.

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