11/18/2014 09:24 am ET Updated Nov 18, 2014

The Most Powerful Lessons About Sex Come From The Women Who Aren't Having It

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What is sex?

It sounds like a trick question — after all, we talk about sex all the time. We're obsessed with who's having it and why they're having it. We're obsessed how they're having it and how often. We're obsessed with whether we're doing it right or wrong, and we simultaneously celebrate and shame ourselves for turning our sex lives into Internet fodder.

Data shows that the vast majority of U.S. adults have experienced some form of sexual contact — a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report showed that 97% of men and 98% of women ages 25-44 have had vaginal intercourse. Yet the word "sex" is more complicated and layered than we often acknowledge. It means something different for everyone — including those who aren't having it.

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