COMEDY
11/26/2014 02:53 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

5 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Leaving The House On Black Friday

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Black Friday could easily be renamed "It-Seemed-Like-A-Good-Idea-At-The-Time-Friday," because that's the general consensus after you return from your marathon shopping with a sprained ankle, a flatscreen tv and about a fifth less of your dignity. This year, we're here to help with some proactive damage control. Ask yourself these five questions before you head out on Black Friday:

Are you still drunk?

stilldrunk
http://comedycentral.tumblr.com/

If you had a couple of glasses of wine at dinner, spiked a cup of coffee with a splash of Bailey's, did some Wild Turkey shots in the garage with your cool uncle, and THEN decided you really want to check out the sales at Kohl's -- and see if your high school ex still works there -- congratulations, you're still drunk. But you should probably just sleep this one off.

Have you often fantasized about starting a fight in a Best Buy?

black friday best buy

Hm, you might want to talk to somebody about that.

Are you a sadistic monster who wants to force #AlexFromTarget to cut his Thanksgiving dinner short so you can score a TV for half off?

Hasn't the poor kid been through enough? Let him eat some rolls!

Do you feel like you can't avoid it because it's "family tradition" to go shopping on Black Friday?

kimshopping
http://fuckyeahdash.tumblr.com/

Tradition is great and all, but have you heard of Cyber Monday?

Are you so desperate to escape your crazy family that waking up at 5 a.m. to go to Kmart seems like a valid option?

arrestedfamily
http://catindigamajig.tumblr.com/

Okay. We get that. Permission granted.

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BEFORE YOU GO

PHOTO GALLERY
Faces Of Black Friday
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