The rules of wedding etiquette are constantly changing, making it difficult for modern brides, grooms and guests to find up-to-date and correct information. That's why we launched #MannersMondays, a series in which we ask our followers on Twitter and Facebook to submit their most burning etiquette-related questions. Then, with the help of our team of etiquette experts, we get you the right answers to your biggest Big Day dilemmas. Check out this week's question below!
— Gigi (@_DolceGabriella) July 28, 2014
Anna Post -- great-great-granddaughter of etiquette guru Emily Post and author of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette -- is here to help us answer this week's question. Find out what she had to say below:
Yes, it’s really okay! It’s true that many people may give a gift anyway, but you should feel comfortable taking the couple at their word. And even if others do give a gift, you won’t look bad by comparison; after all, you’re only respecting their wishes. My husband and I have good friends who got married recently and insisted on not receiving gifts, so we didn’t send a wedding present to them. I’ll admit it felt a little funny, but their wishes really do trump tradition.
For couples who don’t wish to receive wedding gifts, spread the message by word of mouth and on your wedding website. As wedding invitations shouldn’t have any reference to gifts, there’s no need to mention it there -- in fact, you shouldn’t. Even though it might be seen as a “relief” to guests, it still distracts from the main focus of a wedding invitation, which is to invite those you love to share in your wedding.
If you do receive gifts despite your request, don’t make a fuss or refuse to accept them. A gentle, “You shouldn’t have!” wouldn’t be remiss, but don’t express annoyance or anger at having your request ignored. Thank the giver as graciously as you would for any other gift with a handwritten thank-you note sent within three months of returning from your honeymoon.