COMEDY
12/01/2014 12:00 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017
PRESENTED BY CAPITAL ONE 360

12 Words That Have Taken On Completely Different Meanings Thanks To The Internet

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Technology and social media are adding new words and acronyms to the English language faster than you can type “OMG” and certainly faster than dictionaries can keep up. In fact, just last month, to the delight of Scrabblers everywhere, a whopping 5,000 words were added to “The Official Scrabble Players Dictionary.” Many were tech-inspired words such as “selfie,” “hashtag” and “texter” -- words you can now officially use to stump fellow spellers when they whip out the word “QUIXOTRY” on a coveted “triple word score” space. WTF?!

And it’s not just new words, the Internet is completely changing the definition of old words, too. Twenty years ago mentioning you “wrote on someone’s wall” might have gotten you in trouble for vandalism. Similarly, admitting you just Googled yourself might have resulted in some funny looks.

The same way the Internet is changing the meaning of words, Capital One 360® is changing what it means to be a bank -- from putting people first to opening the very first banking cafés.

In that spirit, we’ve partnered with Capital One to create the ultimate glossary of familiar words with updated meanings.

1. "Poke"

NAMEOFIMAGE

What it used to mean: An irritating gesture children use on parents to motion in the grocery store for treats they want; the go-to move when waking up a sleeping person; a painful experience in your eye.

In a sentence: Ouch, I just poked myself in the eye!

What it means now: A Facebook feature used to send virtual pushes, prods, or jabs to someone in your social circle— often reserved for significant others, best friends, and true weirdos. Best practices include unfriending if this happens to you and it's not meant as a joke.

In a sentence: This rando just poked me on Facebook, I'm definitely not poking him back.

2. "Stumble"

NAMEOFIMAGE

What it used to mean: To trip, slip, blunder, or to walk unsteadily, often in the dark. Usually results in embarrassing stories.

In a sentence: In the middle of the night, I stumbled to grab a glass of water.

What it means now: The act of having webpages tailored to your interests sent to you to in a seemingly random, and often fortuitous, way via the StumbleUpon bookmarklet, so you can pretend to be surprised when you see things you enjoy.

In a sentence: Stumble to next site about marine biology?

3. "Feed"

NAMEOFIMAGE

What it used to mean: To give someone food, or the food that you give another person or animal. Can also be used when referencing putting money into a machine or meter.

In a sentence: Tweety is hungry, he needs some bird feed.

What it means now: A place where everyone you've ever met posts pictures of their lunches, their babies, and their engagement rings.

In a sentence: I have to block everyone on my feed that's into taking gym selfies.

4. "Friend"

NAMEOFIMAGE

What it used to mean: A buddy, pal, or confidant that exists in the real, three-dimensional world of your life. One who you often meet up with, call, and share secrets with.

In a sentence: I've known my best friend since kindergarten; we do everything together.

What it means now: The act of adding someone you met at a bar or went to high school with to your online social circle so they can see pictures of your lunch, babies and engagement ring. (See: Feed.)

In a sentence: John was flirting with me at the reunion, should I friend him?

5. "Tweet"

NAMEOFIMAGE

What it used to mean: The sound a bird makes. The origin of the name of the beloved Warner Bros.' character Tweety Bird.

In a sentence: "Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet," – a bird

What it means now: Posting brief, 140-character "updates" or "opinions" to Twitter, all carefully written to fit into your perfectly crafted social media personality. Often include abbrevs, links and all-caps.

In a sentence: Oh my gosh, I tweeted about "Guardians of the Galaxy" and Chris Pratt just tweeted back at me!

6. "Tag"

NAMEOFIMAGE

What it used to mean: The game you would play through your neighborhood or during elementary school recess when you were a kid; something you put on a gift to show who it is going to.

In a sentence: Tag, you're it!

What it means now: Naming names, when it comes to who's who in a photograph of an event posted online to Facebook, so that person becomes attached to that visual identity forever and ever.

In a sentence: Please don't tag me in any pictures from my birthday party.

7. Status

NAMEOFIMAGE

What it used to mean: A social standing in society, can be high or low; often accompanied by symbols relaying the status to those around them.

In a sentence: My new Mercedes Benz and Jimmy Choos are total status symbols.

What it means now: A way people can alert everyone they know via Facebook of what they're having for lunch—with accompanying picture—the amount of homework they have (generally followed by "home never"), or what kinds of faces their baby/dog is making.

In a sentence: I need to update my status to let people know I'm eating a homemade handpie.

8. "Viral"

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What it used to mean: A negative condition when an infectious disease can travel from one host to another. Often the cause of outbreaks and/or death.

In a sentence: Sir, your flu is a viral infection, so don't cough on anyone.

What it means now: A positive condition when a video, story, meme, or gif travels from one person on a computer to another. Often the cause of the writer's pay raise and those featured appearing on daytime talk shows.

In a sentence: My video of my kids singing along to "Frozen" is totally going viral and I'm going to be on "Ellen."

9. "Troll"

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What it used to mean: An (allegedly) imaginary creature that generally lived under bridges or subterranean dwellings; a popular 1980s toy with bright-colored hair.

In a sentence: If you want to cross this bridge, you have to pay the troll toll.

What it means now: A form of online harassment meant to purposefully undermine, inflame, or provoke response on a website, most often found in every comment section ever. Or, someone who lures another into a pointless, yet purposeful, argument online. Other forms include "concern troll," the most devious of the species.

In a sentence: Pay no attention to the man who says Beyoncé has no talent, because he's just a troll.

10. "Check in"

NAMEOFIMAGE

What it used to mean: Arrive at a hotel; request the status of someone via telephone, generally a parent to a teenager; to look in on someone to ensure their wellbeing.

In a sentence: I have to check in on my daughter to make sure she's doing her homework.

What it means now: Let everyone in your social media circle know where you are, who you're with, and what exactly you're doing there, most often to evoke jealousy or FOMO from those reading your updates.

In a sentence: Ooh I have to check in to this beach bar and add pictures of my frozen cocktails while everyone else is stuck in a blizzard.

11. "Pirate"

NAMEOFIMAGE

What it used to mean: A man or woman who pillages and plunders at sea, generally dressed in puffy shirts, needing a peg leg, and carrying a parrot on his/her shoulder; the act of being a pirate.

In a sentence: Captain Jack Sparrow is a pirate who's trying to recover his lost ship.

What it means now: To obtain illegally, generally in the form of streaming online or downloading, media, including the latest Game of Thrones episode, the new Beyoncé album, and whatever superhero movie is now in theatres.

In a sentence: Ugh, I missed "Project Runway" and now I have to pirate it so I don't get spoilers on who wins.

12. "Pin"

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What it used to mean: A small, sharp instrument used in sewing to fasten or attach of fabric together; a decorative piece of jewelry that uses a small, sharp instrument to attach itself to clothing, handbags, or other fashion items.

In a sentence: Careful, that skirt still has pins in it.

What it means now: An image associated with a webpage within the application Pinterest, generally tailored in one of three categories: recipes using pumpkin, dream wedding ideas involving mason jars, and/or do-it-yourself home décor projects that will inevitably never look like the outcome in the picture; the act of showcasing these pins.

In a sentence: I have to pin all of these Halloween costumes in August so I don't forget them in October.

So now, when someone says they're going to tweet and pin a video about cats dancing and tag all their friends, you can confidently say, "Well, I bet that will go viral."

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