12/05/2014 01:58 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How To Cope When Your Man Is Less Than Perfect

In the past, Joe has cheated on his wife of 12 years, Teresa, and also been abusive. Although Joe got help for his anger three years ago and hasn’t laid a hand on his wife since then, Teresa says she can’t get over the past and brings it up daily. They turn to Dr. Phil for help fixing their marriage.

“This comes down to trust,” Dr. Phil tells Teresa in the video above. “Your ability to trust him has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you.”

He continues, “In order to trust him, you have to be able to trust yourself to deal with whatever he does. You’re playing the game with sweaty palms, because you don’t know, not what he’s going to do, but if you’re going to be able to handle it when he does.”

Dr. Phil suggests Teresa recognize that she’s tough and will be able to handle it if her husband is less than perfect. She needs to say to herself, “’Even if I trust and he really lets me down big again and cheats on me, I’m A: going to kick his ass to the curb,’ and B: will be OK.”

Dr. Phil adds that both Teresa and Joe need to make the decision that they are going to forgive each other. “Forgiveness is a choice. You have to make a choice,” he says, explaining that forgiveness is not just something that happens to you, but rather you need to choose it. “Stop the legacy you live and start a new one right now.”

This episode of Dr. Phil airs Friday. Click here to see where you can watch.

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