Whether you're single, in a relationship or adrift in the sea known as "It's complicated," just be happy if you can't relate to any of these dating snafus.
The Twitter hashtag #WorstDateIn5Words was a trending topic on Thursday and prompted thousands of tweets from people who have lived to tell the tale of dates gone wrong -- as well as people who can write a good 5-word joke about one.
From seriously awkward conversation starters ("I'm not racist but...") to levels of discomfort we can only imagine ("His ankle bracelet started beeping") and some clever nods to dating in the movies ("Titanic"), here are some of the funniest #WorstDateIn5Words tweets the Internet had to offer:Men's Rights Activist
His Mom Bought Dinner
"I'm a Men's Rights Activist."
— Charles Clymer (@cmclymer) December 18, 2014
Hemingway Off Base
His mom paid for dinner. #WorstDateIn5Words
— Jenna Amatulli (@ohheyjenna) December 18, 2014
Flashback To 2012
#WorstDateIn5Words For Sale: baby shoes – worn.
— Jesse Neil (@JTrainNeil) December 18, 2014
IT'S A TRAP
#WorstDateIn5Words "I voted for Mitt Romney"
— coolgal518 (@quintywinties) December 18, 2014
"Does this smell like chloroform"
— Brett (@Brett_B_) December 18, 2014
"I think my water broke." #WorstDateIn5Words
— Michael Kimmel (@mkimml) December 18, 2014
That Never Ends Well
"Let's go see One Direction" #WorstDateIn5Words
— Andrien Gbinigie (@EscoBlades) December 18, 2014
Neither Does This
I'm not a racist but #WorstDateIn5Words
— Bridie Jabour (@bkjabour) December 18, 2014
Three's A Crowd
"White people experience racism, too!" #WorstDateIn5Words
— SocialJusticeKrieger (@UnseenPerfidy) December 18, 2014
Gotta Stay Moisturized
— Rich Mason (@heyitsRichMason) December 18, 2014
Damn You, Chris Hardwick
"Lotion goes in the basket." #WorstDateIn5Words
— TODD SPENCE (@Todd_Spence) December 18, 2014
Sorry, hang on - hashtag war... #WorstDateIn5Words
— TrivWorks (@TrivWorks) December 18, 2014
Every Rose For Herself
Hey, where'd my kidney go? #WorstDateIn5Words
— Bryan Behar (@bryanbehar) December 18, 2014
I'll Show You My Record If You Show Me Yours
— Joey to the World! (@joemessin) December 18, 2014
Tough Roomie Sitch
"Who DOESN'T have a felony?"
— Roger Craig Smith (@RogerCraigSmith) December 18, 2014
Whoops, Gotta Run!
"Ah, here's my roommate: Mom." #WorstDateIn5Words
— Ethan Fixell (@EthanFixell) December 18, 2014
Hat Game Level: Zero
#WorstDateIn5Words His ankle bracelet started beeping
— PaulaInTulsaOK (@PaulaInTulsaOK) December 18, 2014
#WorstDateIn5Words the guy wore a fedora
— Jennette McCurdy (@jennettemccurdy) December 18, 2014
Two more testicles than expected. #WorstDateIn5Words
— Uncle D.L. (@VeryHeavyUncle) December 18, 2014
— Stay Puft (@staypuft) December 18, 2014