You did it! You packed up all your things and moved to Hawaii. Surely you're living the dream, right?
Not so fast.
After all, everyday can't be a literal (and figurative) day at the beach.
Below, 13 problems every Hawaii newbie has experienced.
1. You rush to correct people anytime they misuse the term "Hawaiian."
Even though you totally did it before you moved here. ICYMI: Refer to someone as "Hawaiian" only if they're ethnically Hawaiian, i.e., people who can trace their ancestry back to the islands' original Polynesian settlers. Native Hawaiians, by the way, only make up about 10 percent of the state's population. If you live in Hawaii, you're a "Hawaii resident."
2. You learn (and are forced to use) the term "underemployment."
You used to make a lot more money, but that job was on the mainland (and you hated it). Sure, you might be overqualified and underpaid, but you'll take any job you can get in order to afford the astronomical rent and a gallon of milk.
3. You waste way too much time curating your social media accounts to show the mainland just how awesome your life is here:
Eventually, there will be a sunset you don't feel compelled to photograph.
4. You'll develop a love-hate relationship with tourists.
At first, you'll try desperately to not be confused for one. Then, you'll come around on their contagious happiness. And finally, you'll realize that while you both love how beautiful Hawaii is, one of you has to get to work, while the other is busy driving 10 miles per hour so they don't drop their selfie stick.
5. You'll have confusing and conflicting emotions about the islands' history.
You'll learn about how Hawaii came to be a U.S. territory and then a state, and you'll realize that the legality of it all is still debated. No matter how hard you try to understand the complex issues, as an outsider, you'll feel guilty.
6. You'll lose it when you realize how inaccurately Hawaii is portrayed in TV shows and movies...
But you'll have a whole new appreciation for "The Descendants," "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and "50 First Dates."
7. Sports fan? Give up now.
Hawaii's time zone is the furthest in the west, which means watching anything live is awkward. Wings and beer for a 7 a.m. kickoff just isn't right.
8. Actually, just give up on all TV.
What's the point of even watching "The Voice" when your aunt's Facebook status already complained about the winner? You'll try to avoid social media. And your text messages. And the radio. But the point is moot. Hawaii's time difference will make it near-impossible for you to watch a show without involuntarily finding out the ending.
9. You'll get mercury poisoning.
But you still won't be able to lay off them poke bowls.
10. A quick errand will take you three hours.
First, you'll confuse Kapahulu Avenue and Kalakaua Avenue. Then you'll mistakenly get on the H-1, where horrendous traffic and inexplicable highway closures will test even the strongest aloha spirit.
11. You'll reach the end of Tinder.
You can swipe through the entire state in an hour and a half -- and you're bound to come across a colleague or two.
12. You'll miss out on countless contests and special offers, just for living outside of the contiguous United States.
Say goodbye to those $5 footlongs.
13. Places like Chipotle, In-N-Out and Trader Joe's will be a distant, fading memory.
We miss you, old friends.