QUEER VOICES
01/21/2015 02:49 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Dear Abby Offers Response To Gay Grandmother With Homophobic Son

We would all be so lucky to have someone like Dear Abby in our lives.

The famed advice columnist went viral again this week with her response to a gay grandmother whose son had shut her out of his life -- and the lives of her grandchildren. The writer, who refers to herself as "Heartbroken," tells Abby that she came out of the closet when her son was 4. After he, now 30, and his wife had their second child, the family cut "Heartbroken" out of their lives entirely.

Abby had some great advice for the grandmother, including ways in which she could redirect her maternal instincts if her son refused to be a part of her life. Abby told "Heartbroken,"

If your son is under the mistaken impression that he is going to somehow “protect” his children by isolating them from gay people, he must be living in an alternate reality. Does he also plan to emigrate to the moon?

I suspect you have put your finger squarely on the reason why your son is now ostracizing you. His wife appears to wield the power in that family, and could benefit by learning more about homosexuality and her religion, which I assume preaches love and tolerance for one’s fellow man rather than judgment and exclusion.

Abby goes on to tell the grandmother that she should, "Leave open the possibility that they may, over time, reconcile their love for you with their faith," and then suggests becoming a mentor for LGBT youth who have been kicked out of their homes by anti-queer parents and gives her contact info for PFLAG.

Other advice columnists similar to Dear Abby have a history of being allies to the LGBT community and offering pro-queer words of wisdom to readers seeking advice. In 2013, columnist Ask Amy responded to a mother who was attempting to change her son's sexuality, telling the concerned parent that "If you cannot learn to accept him as he is, it might be safest for him to live elsewhere."

Additionally, Dear Abby herself shut down a homophobic couple last year who were excluding their new gay neighbors from social events. Abby told the couple that perhaps they chose the wrong place to live, but also that "if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here. Please don't blow it."

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