01/24/2015 12:02 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

This Magnificent Snow Penis Was Just Too Edgy For Society, Man (VIDEO)

This is the Alamo of Texas Tech.

In a video uploaded to YouTube Thursday, a group of brave college bros can be seen banding together to protect a sacred, erected monument to man from, well, the man.

As our warriors take their positions, standing up to the might of a bucket loader, cries of war echo through the campus.

"Everyone sit on the dick!" a student shouts with vigor.

"Solidify it! Start pouring water!" says what was probably a mechanical engineer.

Our noble heroes then begin pouring jugs of water around the base of the statue. Unfortunately, these first-year students have not yet realized that bucker loaders don't give a fig leaf about a little ice.

Another suggests they wait until they are able to contact the president. As in, the president.

As the mechanical beast rumbles forward, our protectors of beauty and freedom stand firm.

"Shit's getting real!" a bard sings.

"Don't move!" yells someone who has already moved.

Eventually they do move, because it is important to respect adults -- but not before taking a selfie.

Our patriots explain further on their website:

They repeatedly asked us to move while we protested it. After awhile, they told us we had to move or would get into trouble, so we obliged but not before taking one last picture.

We will never forget your sacrifice, young men.

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