Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
 Are you warm
 Did you eat breakfast
 Not that sugary kind, real breakfast
 Be kind to others
 Yes even your brother
— Camdalf the Red (@boymonster) January 28, 2015
"You're not the boss of me", I whisper under my breath, as I make 4 different lunches for my kids.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 28, 2015
Most of parenting is just spelling words out loud.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) January 28, 2015
Whining doesn't make it feel better, but I'm going to keep doing it anyway because I'm not a quitter.
- my 10 year old
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) January 26, 2015
My kids just played together for 30 minutes before a fight broke out. If you need me, I'll be on the phone with Ripley's Believe It Or Not.
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) January 28, 2015
4-year-old: What happens when we run out of Cheez-Its?
Me: We go to the store.
4: What if the store is out?
Me: We pray.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2015
The hardest part about being a parent is pretending like you know what you're doing.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) January 30, 2015
First kid: We have two hours to be at the park!
Last kid: We have ten minutes left to stop at the park!
— Kathy kissingthefrog (@lifewiththefrog) January 26, 2015
My 4yo can't remember what snack was at school today, but he can repeat word for word everything I said about you on the phone 6 weeks ago.
— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) January 29, 2015
My kids finally hate that Pharrell song.
NOW I'm happy.
— The People's Goddess (@ShoutingGoddess) January 28, 2015
At what age do kids go from asking you for answers to everything to knowing everything themselves?
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) January 29, 2015
I'm sorry you're breaking up [static sound] I'm about to go through a tunnel.
Dad, we're right in front of you
Uh..... go ask your mom.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 26, 2015
Found out my son has been wearing the same socks and underwear for three days. Glad he's going green.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) January 29, 2015
— carly kimmel (@carlykimmel) January 26, 2015
Since Boston got all our snow, can they take all our kids who are off school?
— Kristen Chase (@thatkristen) January 27, 2015
Why all the bitching about the snow day? We've already played Legos, playdough, watercolored, read books...OH GOD IT'S NOT EVEN 9AM HELLLLP
— Amy Shearn (@amyshearn) January 27, 2015
Let's take a moment of silence for all who are home w/kids during #Snowmageddon Let us pray Red Cross gives free alcohol to those in need.
— Martinis & Minivans (@martinisandmini) January 26, 2015
I love the "work at home" option on snow days. 6yo plays the boss, 7 portrays the annoying guy in the next cubicle, & 14 is the lazy intern.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) January 27, 2015
The start of the kids' bedtime is like a Thursday at work: excitement that freedom is near, but plenty of work to do before it's official.
— Hot Breakfast (@amydillon) January 30, 2015
One kid threatening to punch us in the face, the other wont stop running and dancing. So, yeah, bedtime's going great here.
— Will Goldstein (@willgoldstein) January 29, 2015
ParentNormal Science: Did you know that when a pacifier falls in the dark it disappears forever?
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) January 25, 2015
Sleep is overrated and unnecessary.-Kids
— Outsmarted Mommy (@outsmartedmommy) January 30, 2015