Any time a thing happens in politics, the media has "Takeaways" about that thing. And whenever the media has a bunch of Takeaways, Eat The Press gathers all of those Takeaways in one place, so that you can sate your yawning hunger for Takeaways. This past weekend, the Beltway played host to the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, which, by Eat the Press' count, resulted in 62 hot, delicious Takeaways. Here is a definitive ranking of all of them.
Before we get into the rankings, here's how the GOP's likely 2016 presidential contenders fared in terms of who got the most Takeaways. Jeb Bush got the most Takeaways, with 8. He was closely followed by Carly Fiorina and Scott Walker -- each of whom got 7 Takeaways -- and Chris Christie, who had 6. Rand Paul received a respectable 4 Takeaways, followed by Ted Cruz with 3. Bobby Jindal, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio and Rick Santorum got 2 Takeaways each. Ben Carson and Rick Perry brought up the rear, with only one Takeaway each to their name.
So congratulations to Jeb Bush, King of Takeaways!
1. The "hawks" are back.
2. In fact, the "hawks" are so "back" that "non-interventionism" is so yesterday, man.
3. That could be bad for Rand Paul.
4. John Bolton is hoping that Rand Paul will come around on foreign policy and be more like John Bolton.
5. Ted Cruz and Bobby Jindal demonstrated that they think "the best way to reach the top tier of the GOP field is to climb over the backs of their rivals."
6. The RNC's plans to have ideological allies moderate their primary debates came into question after some CPAC interviewers proved to be a bit too softball.
7. "Rick Santorum is the Republican Rodney Dangerfield."
8. Carly Fiorina could be the next "breakout star."
9. Carly Fiorina could be "a serious VP contender."
10. Carly Fiorina "could be an early VP favorite."
11. Carly Fiorina emerged as a "dark horse" candidate for president.
12. Marco Rubio's comeback didn't happen.
13. Reince Preibus thinks Hillary Clinton is "disqualified" because of foreign donations to the Clinton Global Initiative.
14. Ted Cruz proved that he can be "a force in Iowa," but he still needs to demonstrate "how a zealous base will give him the math needed to win the nomination."
15. Ben Carson doesn't want to end welfare programs; he just wants to end "dependency."
16. Republicans haven't quite "figured out how to prosecute ... Hillary Clinton's economic priorities."
17. Scott Walker has momentum.
18. Scott Walker has momentum.
19. Scott Walker has momentum.
20. Scott Walker has momentum.
21. Scott Walker has momentum (but stumbled a bit).
22. No one was the "clear rising star," but "Walker came closest."
23. Scott Walker "cast himself" as a "champion" of "hard working taxpayers."
24. Rep. James Lankford (R-Okla.) wants to know if government employees will be punished if they fail to follow President Barack Obama's executive actions.
25. Jeb Bush faced a lot of critics.
26. Many of Jeb Bush's critics are members of the conservative media.
27. Jeb Bush talked about immigration and Common Core.
28. People at CPAC were "skeptical" about Jeb Bush.
29. Jeb Bush "found his footing after an uneven start and managed to escape unscathed."
30. Jeb Bush "beat expectations."
31. People walked out of the room when Jeb Bush started talking.
32. But Jeb Bush "isn't backing down."
33. Rep. Jeff Duncan (R-S.C.) is against the "clean" deal to fund the Department of Homeland Security.
34. Senators are so hot right now.
35. Rand Paul wants to "defend the whole Bill of Rights."
36. Ted Cruz and Rand Paul have "passion."
37. Ted Cruz was upset at GOP leadership for "cutting a deal" on immigration.
38. Chris Christie faced tough questions.
39. Chris Christie "is still struggling to find his footing."
40. Chris Christie: People laughed and cheered.
41. Chris Christie "convinced" people that he was "still alive."
42. Chris Christie "came up short."
43. Mia Love doesn't want the GOP to "yield the moral high ground."
44. People at CPAC really like Israel.
45. "Few were talking about potentials" like Chris Christie, Rick Santorum, Rick Perry and Donald Trump.
46. Carly Fiorina was, like, really yelling at Hillary Clinton.
47. People really noticed how Carly Fiorina was yelling at Hillary Clinton.
48. "Ferguson is not an epidemic," said this one guy.
49. Rick Perry is against President Barack Obama.
50. Carly Fiorina thinks that Hillary Clinton is "beatable."
51. Bobby Jindal is against ISIS.
52. Marco Rubio has a book out that he is promoting.
53. Phyllis Schlafly: still a thing.
54. "I want to do it so badly," said a thirsty Donald Trump.
55. Joe Scarborough was there, for some reason.
56. Sarah Palin did a pretty good job!
57. "Duck Dynasty's" Phil Robertson speech was not good.
58. Republicans are way into selfies now.
59. People were tweeting stuff.
60. Other people "analyzed" those tweets.
61. While CPAC was a thing that happened, other things -- things that aren't CPAC -- are also going to happen at some point.
62. Newt Gingrich explained how he would win the votes of blacks and Hispanics if he were running, which he's not, and didn't really do a great job when he did. I guess sometimes it gets to be a long day at CPAC and people just start indulging in Socratic exercises.
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