Fatherhood is a complex and wonderful experience -- and it can also be the fodder for some laugh-out-loud observations.
As Father's Day approaches, we'd like to tip our hats to all the funny dads out there whose tweets are undeniably true. If you're unfamiliar with what being a dad is like, these hilarious tweets say it all.
- Me, ever since I had kids
— The Walking Dad (@RealDMK) April 21, 2015
82% of parenting is making sure your kids don't do something fatal today
— Tim (@Playing_Dad) March 21, 2014
Never thought fatherhood would place me on the top of a ladder getting a diaper that has gotten caught in the ceiling fan.
Yet here I am...
— Where's the Xanax? (@DadtheDouchebag) April 16, 2015
What's the difference between a zombie and a father of a newborn? Not much at this point.
— Charlie N Andy (@HowToBeADad) March 21, 2014
Fatherhood is 80% trying not to get kicked, elbowed, kneed, or punched in the balls by your own kids.
— Backpacking Dad (@BackpackingDad) February 22, 2014
At this stage, parenting is mostly a long string of accidentally saving your child’s life.
— Ben (@beancuke) May 24, 2015
“Teaching my kids to eat healthy is basically me saying, 'It's too late for me, save yourself!'”
— Improvising Father (@improvfather) February 4, 2014
An unexpected element of parenting is regressing to your college years with respect to how often you shower and change your clothes.
— david galea (@galeamonster) May 24, 2015
"Daddy, I wanna be like you when I grow up"
"You better hope your mother doesn't hear you say that"
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) April 13, 2015
Parenting is telling other people they have to pee.
— Jason L Blair (@jasonlblair) May 25, 2015
Any guy who's ever been voted Dad of the Year has at one time or another let his kids eat Froot Loops for dinner
— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) March 22, 2014
"What's that horrible smell in this room?"
- a parenting autobiography
— Father With Twins (@FatherWithTwins) May 8, 2015
If you want to see a fathers true rage ask him to find some matching kid socks in a dryer full of clean laundry.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) June 5, 2015
One of the biggest lies we tell our kids is, "Wow, you're a really good artist."
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 5, 2015
Parenting is a conglomeration of everything I've never learned.
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) August 28, 2014
Dad Fact: I've been kicked, punched, and elbowed in the junk more in my 3.5 years as a dad than in my whole pre-dad life combined.
— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) November 7, 2014
90% of parenting is just figuring out who licked who first.
— Svenn Amish (@amishschool) May 25, 2015
As a parent in his late 30s, my favorite movies are the ones I can still understand after I've accidentally dozed off for a few minutes.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) January 25, 2014